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From Trish Regan, CNBC
It may sound like a cliché, but the day my husband and I learned we were pregnant -- with two babies -- was truly one of the happiest in our lives. Our doctor played each of their heartbeats for us (they sounded like a little marching band when we heard them together), and it hit us that not only were we pregnant but we were expecting twins. We were thrilled!
When we began telling people we were expecting twins, all of our friends and family were excited for us because they knew how much we wanted children. But, we also noticed that many of our friends would smile and tell us we had no idea how much work we were in for and how much our lives would change by becoming parents, let alone parents of twins. I guess this is probably true -- but for us, having two will be all we know so, however much work it is will be well worth it.
Getting ready for the babies has been a big priority. For me, knowing what to expect is critical. I've been fortunate to be able to tap into my friends and colleagues that have gone through the twin experience and they've been a huge resource. They've filled me in on everything from what to expect in the hospital, to what kind of stroller to get (living in NYC, knowing whether a double stroller can actually make it into an elevator is pretty valuable information), to what to look for in a pediatrician. I've been lucky to know so many mothers of twins.
One of the biggest questions my husband and I have pondered is this: how do you ensure that each child is treated as an individual? It's an issue that affects everyday decisions -- little things from what the babies wear, to whether or not they should have separate birthday cakes or share one (something I had never even thought about!) to bigger issues like, how do you ensure that they get equal attention? One thing I've already made an effort to do is not refer to them as "the twins". I also decided early on that I wouldn't dress them alike -- but I've got to tell you, this is easier said than done -- especially when you find an outfit that's so cute, you just want two of them! So, I've relaxed my rule on that one, at least for when they're babies. As for birthday cakes, we've decided they should each have their own. Growing up, birthdays were something I looked forward to as my own special day. I want my children to know how special that day is for each of them.
Then, there are the bigger issues. How do you ensure that both children will get all the opportunities they can? How can you prevent one from dominating the other? How can you make sure they each develop as an individual? These are the challenges I'll face in the coming years, and I know I'll be turning to other mothers of twins for as much advice as I can possibly get. One of my friends, a mother of two girls, told me these are questions she confronts on a regular basis. The good news, she said, is that her girls have distinctly different personalities and each of her girls have their strengths. She has taught her daughters to value their differences and to learn from each other. This way, my friend explained, they're working together as a team and they're helping each other to grow while respecting each other's differences.
We recently found out that we are having two little girls – and we can’t wait!
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My son and daughter-in-law had twin girls 10 years ago. They dont look alike, and have totally different personalities. They are and have always been, each other's best friend.Liam was the surprise brother who was born when they were two. He now participates in their play,but this was not always the way. He has had to fight his corner in order not to be overshadowed by his sisters.
I still refer to 'the twins', when I mean the three children of that family.
I know these kids very well. My son and daughter in law were paying back the US Airforce for their medical school education when she got pregnant. She could'nt quit. I quit my nurses job and went every day to their house to care for the children. This lasted for 6 years, until they moved.
I took these kids to the local library branches at least three times a week for the first 4 years of their lives. All three children are avid readers now.
Don't worry about dressing the girls the same. It will be easier, and you'll find out as they get older,you will be dressing them differently according to their personalities.
These children are loved very much by their parents, who have taken them on numerous trips overseas. They are smart and well rounded kids. I tell them they are privileged children and try to instill in them a sense of awareness about the rest of the world and the many disadvantaged people there are. I hope they will grow up with a sense of responsibility to reach out and care for others..
Best of luck Trish. Hope all goes well for you. I'm from Ireland, I love kids. I know you will too.
First off, congratulations! What an amazing time you are about to begin. I had twin baby girls in January of 2008. They are the loves of my life. It will be an exhausting challenge at first, but one that you will rise to meet and do it gladly. My girls are now 21 months old and I have to say it is really getting much easier. They now play together and just seem to love being together. I have to say that this will probably be the hardest thing you ever do, but the rewards are exponential. Best wishes to you and your family. May God bless you and bring you much happiness.
I have almost 3 year old twin girls. They were our attempt at child #3. :) (child one is almost 9 and child 2 is almost 5). My girls are fraternal, and while they look a bit alike, they are two very different little girls. I do dress them alike, more because they fight over who will wear the shirt with the cat or the shirt with the squirrel! As they get older and more of their personalities shine, then we can adjust.
Our biggest issues in our house is how to give all 4 kids adequate, individualized attention. It's been a struggle for us since the girls were born. I stay at home, my husband works 60 hours a week, and my oldest is in elementary school. At times the girls get the short end of the stick, since they are too little to do so much of what their older brother and sister get to do.
That doesn't mean that our kids aren't loved though and I am sure that as you make your way being a MOM (mom of multiples) you will find what works best for you all. Oh, and we do separate cakes for the girls as well.
Best of luck to you!!
Congrats! I two am expecting twins (my first children) and recently found out they are boys. I've had so many questions but have had amazing resoucres, my husband is a twin and my brothers and sister are 14 yr old triplets. I know first hand about creating individuality and how important it is for multiples. My brothers and sister were always treated as individuals, 3 cakes, 3 cards, 3 happy birthday songs, individual invites to their own friends, etc. Whey they were in school my parents tried to split them up in classes instead of keep them together. They all got their own friends and gained a lot of independence.
Good luck on this awesome journey- we're in for much fun over the years :) Double the smiles, double the laughter and double the love!
I have 8 month boy/girl twins which is slightly different but the challenges are still there. I do struggle to make sure I am giving each the attention they need. Luckily, when one is fussy, the other is content with whatever they are doing. Naptime is also a struggle, although I have worked out a system on my family room floor. So, my once 30 minute nap days have turned into 2-3 60-90 minute naps a day. You will learn to read all of the signs of your children and they will have different personalities. You see that the first couple of weeks! Looking forward to more of your twin stories! Good luck!
Trish,
Congrats! You are about to experience the most wonderful and stressful thing ever! My husband and I had twin boys in March. I thought I was ready and could handle anything. Boy was I wrong! I did ok for the most part. Thankfully one baby is an easy going guy. But my oldest is a mama's boy and a clingy boy. My suggestion to you is to get those babies on a schedual asap! I was about to loose my mind when I decided a schedual was a must! Since then, it's been easy! Now we are into the teething stage. It's a challenge too, but it's also a life experience! Enjoy every day because they grow so fast! I don't tend to dress the boys matchy matchy. Just for the grandmas who love it so much. But I do dress them similarly. I'll dress them both in whale outfits, but they'll be different colors. We like the Cleveland Indians, so one boy will be wearing a blue shirt, the other a gray. I didnt think I would even dress them similarly, but you find yourself doing it automatically. I dont know why! And we plan to give them each their own smash cake for their first bday. We'll see how it goes for birthdays there after. But I want them each to be their own person! Best of luck to you and your husband!
Fellow twin mom,
Tiffany
Well...let me say...you really don't know what you are in for! LOL! I surely didn't! I have one year old twin boys who are as different as night and day. I have two older children and thought adding a third would be "just right". Boy was I surprised when I found out I was adding #3 and #4...turns out I "overproduced" that month! I do struggle with giving each of them enough attention but make sure that if I'm paying attention to one, I do the same thing with the other next. I do not dress them alike although everyone who buys them clothes does buy the same outfit. A few people who know me well, know not to do this! When they celebrated their first birthday on Sept. 16th they each had their own cake and each had their own presents. They are absolutely amazing, if you ask me! I think the roughest part was the first 3 months. I had many sleepless nights. I read books about multiples and all that junk and then realized it just wasn't for me. I was going to go with their flow and I haven't regretted that since! For the most part they are pretty much on the same schedule, although I have one who takes great naps and one who doesn't. One is a great eater, the other is picky. The first twin out pretty much "does" everything first (first tooth, first crawler, first walker) while his brother catches up about 3 weeks later. One is, unfortunately, more dominant yet his brother does fight back. When they were born one was with me in my room while the other had to go to the NICU. To this day, the one that was with me is more clingy than the other. One has blondish/reddish hair and blue/green eyes while his brother has brown hair and brown eyes. Somedays I am amazed that they are twins! It definitely has been a roller coaster ride but I wouldn't trade it for the world...especially when I come home at the end of the day and they both look up and smile....priceless. So, good luck and congrats!
Congratulations! We could share stories for hours! My husband and I have twin girls who will be 5 next month (they also have an 11 year old brother). It feels like yesterday when we learned we were having twins. I can still picture my husband's white-as-a-ghost face :)
You have a wonderful outlook on it and will be just fine. It's a lot of work, but it is oh so worth it! I'm looking forward to following along on your journey.
Congratulations! I,too am the mother of twin girls (11 years old) as well as an 8 year old girl. Pregancy, both times, but especially with my twins was the most treasured time in my life. Though I can't imagine having time to keep a journal now, I did keep one during my pregnancies. I filled it with all of my concerns, my hopes and dreams for the babies and my predictions about their personalities. I read it to the girls quite often and it makes for amazing mother/daughter time and it's pretty amusing to me too!
I had some of the same concerns as you. We have never referred to the girls as twins and though I did dress them alike when they were little (sometimes the cute outfits made it SOOO hard to resist!)there did come a time when they had their own opinions about dressing....and I didn't have a choice. My husband and I also got those "knowing" looks from other parents and now being on the other side as I have often given those looks, I know that it simply means that you are about to embark on a wonderful adventure. Not all of it will be easy and you will be tired, but this experience will change your life in the most wonderful of ways.
My advice to you? Have a wonderful time....laugh alot and tell your husband to brush up on his knowledge of Disney princesses and American Girl dolls! Many blessings!