My now, long time ex-wife still does not have or even look for intimacy or even companionship. and our only son is 30 years old. 3 months after the birth of our son and going without any form of intimacy since his birth, one morning I just I outright asked, and was bluntly turned down. When I got home from work that day I was told to pack up and get out. I did just that after recommending she consult a doctor. I guess I can say she not only had an affair with our baby, She just replaced me with my son......minus any intimacy.

Great books to explain why men often need sex to help them maintain emotional intimacy in a marriage is "His Needs, Her Needs", and also the book "Mom's Needs, Dad's Needs". They really helped me. Husbands and wives need to try to understand the differences between how men and women interpret feeling loved, and then actually do those things to meet their partner's needs! It is well worth the extra effort (even with two infants, in our case) in order to keep a healthy, happy marriage. Our children are worth it, and deserve to grow up in a happy, emotionally healthy household!

Men have no idea how much of themselves new mothers invest in their baby. Instead of whining about there being no sex - how about they offer to take care of the baby while the mother pampers herself in the tub - or if he makes dinner or cleans the kitchen or takes care of some things for her? It can definitely pay off in the bedroom. Most new mothers are also working women with job responsibilities and are just plain too exhausted for sex. I can still remember how tired I was and it was nearly 20 years ago.

Ok....maybe I am the exception here, but seeing my husband bond with each of our children made him the sexiest man alive! Watching him be so loving, nurturing, playful and give so much of his time and energy to the little life we created made me so hot for him, I was the one wanting to put the baby to bed early! Our children are only 14 months apart, so you can see this wasn't a one-time fleeting feeling, either. It's now 20 years later, and the kids still grin when we can't help but remember that we are partners first and THEN parents that the joke around our house is, "At least we know our parents love each other!"

And yes....my hubby does, and always has, pitched in around the house, with the kids, etc. It made a huge difference in our relationship, and still does. Being sent off for a relaxing long, hot bath, whether your kids are 20 years or 20 days old, is probably the best thing you gents can offer your ladies. Some kindness, compassion and recognition of all the hard work on both sides is the best aphrodisiac ever!

Our sex life became nonexistent; in the two years after our youngest was born, we had intercourse fewer than 10 times, and no intercourse at all for the first 8 months because she was afraid that the birth control pills she was on would be ineffective. I helped out with the kids, pampered her, spoiled her with treats and surprises, and helped around the house. Didn't help. I am in the military, and currently deployed for a year. We didn't have sex at all for the 4 months before I left, and when I came home on midtour leave after being gone for 5 months, we didn't have sex even once. I have become pretty bitter because my wife refuses to acknowledge the issue, and even discussing it pretty much gaurantees another couple weeks without sex. I have suggested going to counselors, but she will not consider it because 'our sex life is our business and no one elses.' My wife and I did not have premarital sex, and discovered after marriage that we have very different sex drives. This has caused a great deal of anguish between us; I feel that she is a great mother and a good wife, but she doesn't want to be my lover. This leaves me with feelings of rejection. I am a lot more sexually experienced than my wife. I had sex in numerous relationships prior to meeting my wife, while she was a virgin until our wedding night. We are of the same faith, but she is more religious than I; she brings religion to bed with us, and it creates an uneasy dynamic. The only time her sex drive matches mine is when she is pregnant, but we have two boys and she doesn't want to have a third child. I do, I love children, and I would like to have a girl.

I have seriously considered having an affair. I don't want a divorce, but I need more from her than she is willing to give. She won't talk to me, she won't talk to a counselor, she won't discuss it with friends, and she won't talk with her parents or siblings about sex or any other issue in our marriage. Her parents are in a loveless relationship that is abusive (her mother is verbally and emotionally abusive toward her father, and has been since her childhood). I don't want that to be a model for our marriage.