Can we do it all without judging each other?

From Mika Brzezinski, msnbc anchor and author of "All Things At Once"

On msnbc's "Morning Joe," we pride ourselves in a meaningful, thought-provoking, peaceful dialogue. It's a "no-judge" zone, meaning we bring different voices together to celebrate the conversation and learn together. Its the same concept I am hoping to put forward with my book, "All Things at Once."

In it, I write about the choices I have made in life pertaining to marriage, children and career. Not all of them have been the best choices and some of them are embarrassing for me to share. They include a devastating accident with my baby daughter after I pushed too hard and too fast at work. And why my husband and I actually chose to ramp up on my career rather than give up on it in light of the accident. I talk about getting fired, being out of work and struggling to admit to myself that I missed work terribly. That being "at home" was not for me. How somehow, my life as a journalist was so intertwined with who I am as a mother and a wife, that functioning without that added challenge was disorienting.

I talk about my mother's ability to have "all things at once" and how she did that in a generation less suited to the choices she made. I knew the book would be a risk.

In fact, many high-profile women, thought leaders in Washington, New York and Boston, urged me upon reading the first draft, to not release the book.

But you can’t have a dialogue without being truly honest and putting yourself out there. Which I did.

What I want women to think about is where we go from here in this discussion. Can it be a good discussion? Can we do it without judging each other? The reaction to the book has been amazing. The New York Times’ review was wonderful and Elle, Glamour and More magazines have recognized the value of my honesty. But go online, and the conversation on parenting Web sites and other similar outlets, goes wild. I am called "disgusting" and "blinded by ambition" and my children apparently are doomed.

Part of this is to the nature of the Internet beast. But I did notice that most of the vitriol has come from women. Especially to my comments about embracing the concept of marriage and children at a younger age than 35. Wow! The reaction to this was searing, defensive and coarse.

I challenge all of us to question why we do this to each other. Why does the conversation degenerate when it comes to issues of parenting, marriage and work?

There are gains to be made for women in the workforce -- salaries are still far from equal with men. And some glass ceilings need to be broken. But I think our biggest problem as we move forward may be with each other. Let's change that.

Erica V. Galloway

Caught the last bit with Mika, what an inspiration she is, raw and honest! No we can not do it all as women in the work force, something always goes to the way side. I have four children, a wonderful husband of 27 years and own my own business. Everyday is a juggling act and at the end of the week I am exhausted. My motivation is my children...mama's got to work! I work Just to give them them the basics, a loving family home environment, food, education, and keeping a healthy mind and body. I am lucky, my husband has always been supportive of me as I am of him, key to making our daily life work. Looking forward to reading Mika's book.

Erica Vargas Galloway

#1 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 12:12 PM EST

gabby's mom

I applaud you for giving a voice to the many of us working women who juggle a career, marriage and family. If our country would unilaterally support us this would be a much easier process. Just imagine if we were as supported in our choices as men are; I do believe that even our own inner voices would not be so critical. Hooray for the women who can admit that they are happier because their life is full of bountiful experiences that they choose. I look forward to reading your book.

#2 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 12:30 PM EST

Gail-1569841

Amen sister, I see the differences in my daughters as well, they will need to do different things, one will always need to in a learning situation of some type, two will need to be helping someone, one will need to have a creative project in the works, they will need these things in their lives in addition to family, work and children. I love that their husbands are aware and allowing this to happen for them. My husband and I learned thru hard lessons that I needed to be working in order to be good at all the other things life has given me. It is our call and no one elses, I try to remember this with others as well.

#3 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 12:32 PM EST

Grannie Annie

This is what the 60s an d 70s were all about. Women having the opportunity, same as men, to do what their conscience dictates and their ability allows. If they want to work outside the home or inside the home, who's business is it but the families? Oh, for the day when the big GUILT can be set aside for good! Thank you Mika for being so honest.

#4 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:21 PM EST

Nathan Rooney

I hold Mika in the highest respect for crapping the Paris Hilton story. I wish more news anchors would stand up against stories that they know are pure garbage. Especially in these times with the infinite stories that are actual news. There's just way too much going on in this world to be doing stories on rich, famous for nothing, oxygen thieves. And so many important world events never make headlines or air time but there always seems to be room for stories about a waste of flesh like Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh, or how many problems the rich and famous have.

We need to stop feeding the fire that is trash news. And the news anchors delivering the stories need to realize that they have a responsibilty to their viewers to deliver the highest quality of stories. Leave trash tv for daytime talk shows.

#5 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:01 PM EST

Nathan Rooney

I didn't mean to post this under the Mom's section. Sorry.

#5.1 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:11 PM EST

lovethyneighborasthyself

good job meika!

#6 - Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:13 PM EST