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By Korin Miller, Cosmopolitan magazine
We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne recently announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it’s tempting to assume the cause was her bratty persona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she’d been too young to make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorcées Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue?
The latest research indicates it’s more than likely. According to recent statistics from the Department of Health and Human Services, women who wed in their late teens or early 20s are more likely to be divorced in 10 years than those who wait until 25 or older. What is it about 25 that ups your chances of having a lasting romance? Experts say it’s all about what you’ve spent those years doing. There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money. Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she’ll get divorced... and by 25, you’re more likely to have earned a degree or two.
“Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards,” explains Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of "Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great." Odds are that by 25, you’re also supporting yourself, so there’s less incentive for you to rush into marriage because you’re seeking financial security from him.
But the marriage-related benefits of working and having money of your own go beyond feeling secure, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of "Finding Your Perfect Match." Learning to budget your cash carefully when you’re single will help you avoid financial problems — one of the main causes of couple fights — for the rest of your life. And juggling responsibilities, dealing with differing personalities, and resolving conflicts on the job force you to develop skills that are necessary for maintaining long-term love.
Knowing the real you
At 25, you’ve had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. “You’ve probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don’t want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can’t live without,” says Orbuch.
Perhaps the most important aspect of waiting is that you’ll know what your goals and values really are, says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of "The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy." While you don’t want to marry someone just like you, marriage is a lot easier if you two share a similar outlook on life. Twenty-four and already married to the man of your dreams? Don’t worry: Many young marriages survive.
But given the choice, you might consider putting off the big day until your mid-20s or later.
For more great relationship tips and information, visit Cosmopolitan online.
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8 comments, including:
It definitely does. I married my wife at 22 and she was 21. We stayed married 2 years had a son and divorced. I moved west and she stayed east. After being divorced for 30 years we reunited at a family reunion and remarried again.