From author and parenting expert Dr. Charles Sophy,

If someone were to ask you, “How would you describe your relationship with your daughter?” How would you answer? Or how would your daughter answer? And how would you describe your relationship with your mother? Responses can range from “We’re like best friends!” to “We can’t stand being in the same room with one another!”

The mother-daughter dynamic is one that is both beautiful and challenging beyond words. As a mother, you can decide to follow a path leading to a more open and engaging relationship by the way you communicate with your daughter. It is never easy, but making the initial effort will ultimately lead to a better relationship. Understand that this will not happen overnight. It is going to take time to build a strong foundation, especially if it there has been a history of poor communication between you and your daughter. But it's never too late to try to start again and repair the damage of the past. The power is with you, mom.

Try these five tips to create conflict-free communication with your daughter:

Choose your battles
It is natural to have an initial emotional response in a situation, but it is essential to “unhook” from those emotions, take a step back and re-evaluate how to handle it appropriately. It is not always necessary to immediately have a conversation about the issue. Put the outcome into a broader perspective, and choose your battles carefully, otherwise there will be far too many.

Keep an open mind
Try to always have collaborative discussions. Everyone’s opinions, emotions and ideas are equally important. If you want to be heard, you also have to be able to listen. Think before you speak, and remember that once words are said aloud, you can't take them back. Respecting one another can never be stressed enough. In order to get respect, you have to give it.

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Start fresh
As a mother communicating with her daughter, be sure that you are not modeling your relationship with your own mother. You want your response to be uniquely based on the connection you have with your daughter. Try and recognize exactly what experiences you are channeling, and then ask, are they the ones you want? You must learn to put old feelings aside and enter into a new relationship with your daughter. As the mom, you have the control, and your guidance and impact is invaluable because of the life experience you already possess.

Share mutual respect
Learn how to approach an issue, even if you disagree with your daughter, with an open mind and positive communication. Try not to begin a conversation with “No.” Instead, begin by being receptive so mutual respect of one another’s opinions is clear. The messages that your daughter will take away from your interactions are both verbal and non-verbal. Your responses are read beyond the spoken word, and are quite evident through your facial expressions and body language. Often times, when you begin with "No", it is like a slap in the face, and where do you go from there?

Put your emotions on hold
We are all human, and all subject to making mistakes and poor decisions. With that being said, in the mother-daughter equation, you have to make the conscious effort to put the welfare of your daughter above your own. Her emotional welfare is equally as important as making sure she is physically safe. When your daughter comes to you with an issue or concern that directly effects your own emotional state, you must learn to control your response. Being able to put your emotions on hold until you can properly process them later, can dictate whether or not your daughter will continue to turn to you in these matters. Modeling the ability to rise above the feelings of hurt and anger that you are experiencing will ultimately enable your daughter to do the same and deal with them in a more healthy manner.

For more advice on navigating the mother-daughter relationship, you can read read Dr. Charles Sophy's book, "Side By Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication." And visit his blog at www.drsophy.com.

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