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You may have seen the hit MTV show “16 & Pregnant,” about teenagers who are unexpectedly expecting. Watching the sacrifices and hardships and the emotional, financial and physical challenges these girls face is enough to make any teenager wear a full body condom.
I say that even though I am the product of a teen mom. She was 19 years old. In her defense, two weeks before she got pregnant she married my dad. Really. I did the math — twice. Why do you think she made him marry her? Then, like millions of other girls, she gave up her college education to raise a family. Personally, I think it was an excellent choice. But, as she approaches 70, I do think she will always regret it. And she tried to make sure I did not follow in her footsteps. Why didn’t I?
First, a grateful acknowledgement to my my high school fifth-period Health Science teacher Mr. Eddings and his dexterity at the filmstrip projector; if only he could have played a couple of DVDs of MTV's "16 & Pregnant," everyone would have stayed awake. And a virgin.
Despite Mr. Eddings’ circumspect discussion of condoms and fallopian tubes and Vas Deferens (was it a heavy metal rock band?), I think what kept me a "good girl," was my boyfriend’s teeth. Every time he begged, "Please! Please! Pleazzzzzzzz!” I looked at his uncooperative choppers and thought, “If I get pregnant we'll be paying off orthodontia bills for eons.” Not long ago, I friended the old beau on Facebook. He's married now with a kid. In the photo display, his kid never smiles. See, I knew it!
Even if I'd planned to have sex on the most common sex night — prom — I couldn't. I was so badly burned from getting a “little color” at the beach that I looked like a human lobster and felt like a cheese grater had scraped my flesh raw. Any small movement in my blue chiffon dress was torture. Don’t even breathe on me!
Then off I went to college to the first serious boyfriend — a much older ex-Marine. He was wearing me down to give “it” up. My grown-up teen-mom poured out her heart to me in a graphic and personal handwritten nine-page legal-sized letter.
It was somewhat effective and convinced me to at least make sure I always used protection. Then I threw away the letter. And in what I would call a refresher, I retained my commitment to safe sex after accompanying a friend to her birthing class. No woman who is not pregnant should ever be subjected to two hours of "This is labor and delivery." It was terrifying. And those “16 & Pregnant” producers clearly got the same message.
After seeing almost a dozen episodes of “16 & Pregnant” I’m convinced that this show is one of the most effective sexual deterrents ever. My kids are going to be watching this series the minute they have their first case of acne. Oh, wait. I don't have any kids. Maybe Mr. Eddings' filmstrips were more effective than I thought.
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It's really sad what you are telling me on the show, today. The United States has higher rates of teen pregnancy, birth and abortion than in other Western industrialized countries.~There were 71 pregnancies per 1,000 U.S. girls aged 15-19. In 2006, 7 percent of all teenage girls got pregnant, according to the report.
I live in New Mexico, and it is far worse than those percentages you gave, for this state. ***New Mexico led the states with the highest teenage pregnancy rate with nine percent, followed by Nevada, Arizona, Texas and Mississippi. *** I see teens ALWAYS walking around here, with at least one kid, and some with two or three. The ones walking around with two or three are sadly more common. It's pathetic that our society, especially in New Mexico, has come to this~Kids who are having kids and they can no longer enjoy being a kid. Sometimes, come to New Mexico, and walk the streets downtown or most anywhere~even Walmart~and you will see tons of teenage girls who are pregnant or have two or three kids. Our state is far worse than any stats you show, and nobody is doing anything about it. Of course our state is in the top with crime, gangs, murder as well. If someone would do something to take care of those, here, and also tell kids to refrain from sex~many teens are raped here as well, unfortunately~I see it in the news all the time. Something needs to be done, here in New Mexico. I've lived all over the USA, and especially back East, you would not see this anywhere near as often. Nobody cares here in New Mexico and it's ashame. I wish someone would do a report to get New Mexico on it's feet and do what it needs to do where this is concerned and not be so laxxed about it. This problem, as well as the others, needs to be taken care of. I feel so sorry for the teen girls who are pregnant in any state, but especially here, where they are mostly abandoned by everyone.
THANK YOU!!! I am 33 and have 3 sons, 17, 13 and 11. Yep I was 17 and pregnant! I watch the show with all of my sons and we talk about pregnancy and sex education MORE now than we did before due to this show. Thank you so much for an honest eye opening view of teenage pregnancy!
It's a great show and def doesn't glorify pregnancy, which is one of the strongest messages. Great blog post.
My daughter was pregnant at 16, she also lost Tyler during her 6th month of pregnancy. She now speaks with the youth that I work with. So many don't relaize the high risk pregnancies for these girls. No one should every have to go through what she did, it changed her life forever. She is now 30 years old and still shares her story, hoping no one else would have to go through this.
I agree with Art408 , New Mexico has a huge pregnancy rate. Arizona I think is just as bad. My niece got pregnant at 15 and is now pregnant with her fourth child and she just turned 21. She never got to have a childhood, she has been raising all these little ones for years and can't pursue any of her dreams because her loser boyfriend keeps coming back to her and knocking her up again and she has no respect for herself to just say no and get away from him. The 16 and pregnant show is great because it show the reality of having a baby and all the responsibilities it incures. Parents need to be actively telling there children that having sex is not worth all the consequences. Parents need to get off their butts and participate in their children's lives more. We are making a huge mistake of letting the kids grow up on their own and not having enough guidance.
I speak to junior high and high school students about waiting to have sex until they are married and we use the show 16 and Pregnant to illustrate our point all the time. All the kids we talk to watch it and they get a little bit of insight into what the struggles are being a teen parent. I still think that the biggest thing to understand is that condoms are not fool proof, 15-20% of couples who use condoms as birth control end up pregnant within the first year. Make sure we are sending our youth the right message: wait to have sex! We tell them not to do drugs and not to drink and not to smoke, but we falter with the message of sex. It can be harmful both physically and emotionally, and we need to give them the confidence and skills to be able to say no. If we keep lowering our expectations of our teens they will always live down to them. Let's raise the bar for our youth.
I was surprised to see these teen moms on the Today Show this morning looking all glammed up. What teen mom can afford to have leopard pained artificial nails and highlighted hair? I think this presents a false image to teens as to what life is like for teen moms.
I disagree with MMV. Some of these girls are in families that have money and some don't. I'm a teen mother myself and this show DOES NOT glorify what teen parenting is like. I've got low lights in my hair and I didn't pay a dime to do it, girls have friends and some of those friends may work in salons or are going through cosmetology school, so having their nails done and their hair look nice has nothing to do with what parenting is about.
I don't like the show..... it's not fun ..... its hard work remember 25 years ago abortions could be done at low cost and some girls would leave school for awhile and then come back the next year ...... shhhhhhh what happened too that
This how is entertaining and like any reality show it depicts people who are - well not the sharpest tools in the shed. I don't think it has as much to so with their age as their lack of planning. Unplanned pregnancies are the problem. It is irresponsible to get pregnant on accident at any age.