Michelle Obama is right: Take kids on individual vacations

Courtesy of BlogHer

Me, right, with my very happy daughter at Disney World.

By TW for BlogHer.com

Michelle Obama added a "Mommy and me" trip to her summer vacation schedule: Sasha, 9, and her mother will travel to Spain. Vacations with the whole family have a place, but in my experience the trips a child makes alone with a parent really mean the world.

As I write this, my son is enjoying one-on-one time with his father -- in Japan. Every picture of him on Facebook shows a beaming 16-year-old -- which might surprise anyone with a 16-year-old son. I know it would surprise anyone who has been tortured with endless pictures of my children on vacation: in any one photo, one kid will smile, while one looks away and one looks bored. My son is having a blast without his younger sisters complaining about this destination or that restaurant. Those pictures show exactly why leaving the siblings at home makes for a special parent-child vacation.

My children have traveled quite a bit with their father -- all over the world, in fact. Their itineraries make even well-traveled adults sigh with envy. But if you ask my daughter about her favorite trip ever, she rambles about her special "mommy and me" birthday trip two hours from our home, to Disney World.

My daughter's birthday came at about the same time she became fixated with the Pirates of the Caribbean. She didn't remember the ride at all from a couple of years earlier, when we had season passes to Disney World. So I planned a one-night, two-day trip. She loved every minute of it, from the drizzling rain to the pit stop for doughnuts at the toll road oasis to the magic of Disney.

What she talks about, though, and what we both remember well about this trip: She had the undivided attention of her mother. Our days were directed by her whims, not her siblings' likes and dislikes. We wandered leisurely and lingered in the photo booth. We didn't talk about anything earthshaking. Instead, we focused on the fun. I reflect back on that trip and realize the thing that made it special truly was having alone time with someone you love. Those connections nurtured and special memories made with "just mom" last.

For my 20-year-old child's 16th birthday, we took her to the closest Ikea, 5 hours away. We left the other children behind and spent the night in a hotel. We ordered room service, and came home with the new bedroom furniture she had needed for some time. These trips nurture what can be lost in the hustle and bustle of our lives and trying to juggle the needs of all of the children.

Michelle Obama chose wisely when she decided to take Sasha on a "mommy and me" trip. Among the unforgettable experiences Sasha will have as a child, this one will no doubt rank very high on the list.

What do you think: Is it a good idea to take kids on solo vacations? Would you do it?

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Discuss this post

How I wish I could take my kids on vacations like that! I don't know that I would take them seperately, though. Taking them with me shopping seperately is the closest we are going to get any one on one vacations for a long time.

    Reply#1 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:57 PM EDT

    I think that trips individually are a great idea! I think it gives parents and that child the opportunity to open up in ways they may not when with their siblings. It also shows value in their indivuality. However, nowadays, it's a stretch financially for families to vacations together much less doing individual overnight trips with separate hotel costs and travel expenses. Finding ways to do this with day trips or short outings might be a better option for many.

      Reply#2 - Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:56 PM EDT

      Must be nice to be able to take such a trip!! How much in tax dollars will this cost us (secret service,flight,etc). Millions of Americans out of work,many working mom's,who would love to be able to just take a day off and go to the beach,but are struggling to pay the bills!!! Have had enough of the First Family and their vacations,separate or together!! Our country is in dire straights and are tired of footing the bills as taxpayers for all the trips they take. What would be more newsworthy and interesting is what many are doing as working parents to give their children a "fun" summer!!

        Reply#3 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:34 AM EDT

        I could never affort separate vacations but I would take my children to dinners, shows,sporting events etc. individually. I live in Michigan and there are great diners and coney islands has we call them, my son and I would get in the car and just drive and eat at a different spot at least once a week. I feel the times that we spent together one on one is the reason we have great relationship now.

          Reply#4 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:52 AM EDT

          But wasn't it the President himself who said something to the effect that Americans need to reconnect as families?  What the heck?  Also, in this economy, I can barely afford to take my child to the beach, let alone a trip abroad.  Once again, the President and his family have absolutely no idea how the American common folk live. 

            Reply#5 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:26 AM EDT

            How lovely...I love this idea. I have an only child, however, I usually pick one day a month and choose a really fun activity for him and I to do together...just us...Mom and son. He loves it, I love it...It really doesn't need to be a long vacation or anything, just something for them. And please, everyone, keep your disdain and hatefullness to a minimum. We are talking about family issues not how much you hate the president and his family...ugh!

              Reply#6 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:06 AM EDT

              Don't try to give me advice, Michelle. Oh...and stop bearding for your gay husband.

                Reply#7 - Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:09 PM EDT

                Like Cheryl-2092972, I too pick one day a month and spend time with my daughter. I have 2 kids. The younger baby just turned 1 and takes up most of my time and attention. We take family vacations as much as we can. But so that my older daughter (now 5) does not feel left out of mommy's attention, I spend some time with her every night but once a week, we have a "girls date day". It could be something as simple as window shopping and then grabbing chicken nuggets at Wendy's or catching a kids movie, or get hair cut together, we try to make the best of it. It's not what the first lady says or what anyone else, it's parenting. Our kids deserve this (and more). And like us, the Obama's are parents too and doing the best they can with their kids.

                Don't try to make something as simple as this subject into political agenda.

                  Reply#9 - Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:59 PM EDT

                  When you have 3 in 4 1/2 years, you don't need to go for the big trip abroad (very unrealistic for the average American family). We send kids to Grandma one at a time, and do simple one-on-outings (ie mini-golf, ice cream, the park to play on a climber, playing tennis, etc.) The kids are not a package deal. Each are individuals and should have to opportunity to be treated as such.

                    Reply#10 - Wed Aug 4, 2010 9:44 AM EDT
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