E-mail updates
Follow on Twitter
Subscribe to RSS
BlogHer
By Lisen Stromberg for BlogHer.com
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, I had the honor of toasting one of my closest friends at her wedding. I stood, wine glass in hand, extolling the great gifts of a well-met marriage rubbing my expanding belly for emphasis. After I sat down, one of the men at our table took away my wine glass and said, “I know you know your baby doesn’t need this.” Now, it should be noted, I hadn’t taken a sip from the glass, but that was not the point. This guy was just another in a long line of well-meaning men (and the occasional woman) who felt compelled to tell me what to eat, drink, and generally do while I was pregnant. Funny thing is, my doctor had actually advised me (off the record) to have the occasional glass of red wine.
You see, I have a malformed uterus. My condition holds a real risk to the fetus of preterm delivery. When other pregnant women begin having Braxton-Hicks contractions -- a perfectly normal means for the uterus to prepare for delivery -- I begin going into early labor. In my previous pregnancies, I had tried using terbutaline, but it made me jittery, and my doctor and I agreed we would only use it as a last ditch effort. As the contractions were still very mild and rare at this stage in my pregnancy, my doctor suggested that red wine could help ease my condition. In short, I was on doctor’s orders to imbibe when necessary.
A woman’s decisions regarding her own health during pregnancy are already fraught with anxiety. We want what is best for our growing fetus all the while needing to balance out what is best for us. As Julia Moskin wrote in her essay on drinking during pregnancy, “our responsibility for minimizing risk through perfect behavior feels vast.” In the end, we must come to peace with the reality that these choices are weighed between the demands of the present and the future consequences we can live with.
We are bombarded with frightening information on the risks of our decisions. We are told that if we eat soft cheese, sushi, deli meats, if we drink alcohol or unpasteurized fruit juices, if we dye our hair or get a pedicure, our child’s future will be compromised by low IQ, behavioral problems, and late-in-life heart disease, diabetes and so on. As Dr. Jerome Groopman recently wrote in his review of Anne Paul Murphy’s new book Origins, "the food the mother eats, the air she breathes, the water she drinks, the stress or trauma she experiences — all may affect her child, for better or worse, over the decades to come.”
All of this is grist for maternal guilt and fuel for the womb police. For years, they have been focusing their efforts on whether women can choose to keep or terminate a pregnancy. Fetal rights have been used in numerous legal cases as a tool for the anti-choice movement. However, these efforts have not stood up in court. In 2001, the Supreme Court ruled in Ferguson vs. The City of Charleston that “the government of this country should not be permitted to police its pregnant citizens through their umbilical cord.” The unveiling (and controversial) research linking all manner of societal ills to gestation is giving new impetus to the fetal rights movement and a new opportunity to control women’s bodies.
Even well-meaning liberals are getting on the band wagon. In the New York Times recently, Nicholas Kristof wrote that “early childhood education may be a bit late as a way to break the cycles of poverty.” He went on to quote Anne Murphy Paul who said, “given the odds stacked against poor women and their fetuses, the most effective antipoverty program might be one that starts before birth." Dr. Darshak Sanghavi, a pediatric cardiologist, disagrees. He argues that “pinning complex public-health problems, like childhood obesity (or poverty), on failed gestation has a blame-the-victim undercurrent." The research itself is not always reliable. In an oft quoted Swedish study linking behavior problems to moderate alcohol consumption, you’ll discover that “despite that fact that four of the eight studies did not indicate a link between alcohol consumption while pregnant and behavioral problems the institute maintains that the evidence is sufficient to support its recommendation.” I don’t know about you, but this sounds like an agenda to me.
I worry about the implication of all of this. Are we steps away from governmental intervention on our choices during gestation? Will this become yet another class issue in which poor and disenfranchised women are told what to do in order to control their progeny? Or worse, does our future look frighteningly like the subjugated state-controlled breeders in Margaret Atwood's Handmaid’s Tale? (If you haven’t read it, run, don’t walk to your nearest independent bookstore to buy this one now.) At the very least, most pregnant women would agree with Julia Moskins when she says, “the public seems to seriously doubt whether pregnant women can be trusted to make responsible decisions on their own.”
All of this comes back to that singular glass of wine. To celebrate the occasion of my friend’s wedding and to slow the mild contractions I was experiencing, I did drink it. And, when my son does not get into Harvard, I can tell him what Dr. Sanghavi said, “at some point you have to stop blaming your issues on your mother's uterus.”
Bloggers Weigh In
- Blogger Gillie Easdon of Off Beat Mama writes that “a pregnant woman’s body is everybody’s business.”
- Writesasrain is a parent of two adopted children who suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome asks "is it worth the risk? If we understand that permanent damage can be done … then, does it really matter how much damage, or what kind of damage? It can NOT be undone. The damage is for life."
- BlogHer Rita Arens of Surrender Dorothy says after speaking with friends and doing the research, “If I were to put another bun in my oven (don't hold your breath), I think I'd be less conservative about drinking”
What do you think? Is it worth the risk?
Photo Credit: Brett L via Flickr
Gloria Steinem once said, "The first problem for all of us, women and men, is not to learn but to unlearn." I am working on unlearning each and every day. How about you? Lisen www.prismwork.com
Reaching more than 20 million women each month, BlogHer is the leading participatory news, entertainment and information network for women online with a publishing network of more than 2,500 blogs. BlogHer adds unique voices of women bloggers to the TODAY community. Read more at www.blogher.com -- and sign up for our newsletters to get the best of BlogHer in your inbox.
"Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms
Leave a Comment:
"Back off, pregnancy police! I know what I'm doing". Wanna bet? That must be why over 40,000,000 (that's 40 million unborn) have been aborted since Roe vs. Wade 1973. That law was never intended to replace responsible decisions, accountability, or birth control methods.
Respectfully, that's not really the point of the article, Rockofages.
Respectfully, the author did bring up the abortion issue and spent a paragraph talking about it, soooo that makes it relevant. Futile, but never the less relevant. You're correct that it's not the point, but it's what this person pulled out of the article, so how about you stop trying to be the discussion police, hmmm? Agree/disagree on the issue...everyone still has an opinion on it and should be allowed to voice it.
That wasn't a law, that was judicial fiat and it was intended EXACTLY for that purpose.
To all you do gooders and abortion haters - please put your money where your mouth is and adopt an American Child, then you have a right to discuss the issue. However in no way do you have the right to butt into or do violence to any individual not sharing your selfish self centered holier than thou opinions.
Until you walk a mile in her shoes STFU!
This article really resonated with me ...
When I was pregnant with my first ...my OB also told me that in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters, a glass of wine with a full dinner at night a couple times of week was not a problem.
I weighed what he said and chose not to chance it ...at first.
But, 7 months along, I turned 30.
My husband took me out for a very nice dinner and I ordered a glass of wine to celebrate the milestone and toast what was ahead for the two of us.
The dirty looks I got from the woman at the table next to us and from the waiter stopped me in my tracks and almost ruined my night.
Now, I'm not sure why. I have a beautiful, healthy, energetic toddler and now a beautiful baby girl.
Frankly, the "research" changes every day. You can have caffeine, you can't have caffeine ...wine is good for you, wine is bad for you.
Parenting, for the most part, even during pregnancy is about going with your gut ...and knowing what is right for you and what is right for your baby.
NO ONE has the right to tell you anything else.
Good for you, Mom!
I'd like to weigh-in on a little mentioned & conveniently ignored fact that the Europeans esp. the French, Spanish & Italians, have been drinking wine with meals since forever. I've yet to read a study on their having higher than normal birth defects esp. "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome." If as little as ONE (1) drink could cause damage, there would be well-documented, peer reviewed studies on it.
On a 1st. person note: when I was PG 2 X's many yrs ago, this was not even a subject of discussion. I believe I had 1 drink mid-term with my 1st. He's happy, healthy & well-above normal in I.Q.; he makes his living in computers.
My second, 6 yrs. later, I not only drank somewhat, but remember getting sick & throwing up one evening when we went out to dinner with family. THIS one, Dean's List & never studied, almost total recall memory & God only knows what he's doing in computers with a Top Secret Clearance with his government-contracts company. I'm just glad he's on OUR side computer-wise.
He's happy, healthy, married, volunteers his time with disabled vets ( former Marine), rescues animals, & if this is the result of alcohol, then bring on the case of vino!
Every person/situation is different & since this country loves to swing their "pendulum" from one side to the other, the old adage of "all things in moderation" still has merit.
I agree with Alexander, this is not what the article was about at all. This article was about the millions of women who do become pregnant and CHOOSE to go through with their pregnancy. All women who get pregnant and choose to keep the baby, care about what happens to their unborn babies; these are the women who have the right to choose what they decide to do during their pregnancy. So this has NOTHING to do with the millions of women who have had abortions for whatever reasons they felt they had the right to make.
I also agree with this article. It is each woman's choice to decide what she will eat and drink and how she will let her environment effect her pregnancy; and I agree that some of this policing must be curbed. It is important that the information is out there be available to pregnant women; from there it is up to each woman how they will apply that information to thier pregnancy. It is the right of each woman to make decisions regarding her body and her unborn child. No one elses. (except perhaps those of the fathers should be considered greatly to some point.)
There is no study out there that proves undoubtedly that one glass of wine will hurt a pregnancy. My mother had one stout beer every day during each of her pregnancies. (a weird holistic phase my mom wenth through during the 70's, however it worked for her and her girlfriends, by the way, they all maintained perfect blood pressure, uncomplicated births with no drugs during the births) All of us were born healthy, with IQ's above 125. She continued drinking her one stout beer every day all the way through breast feeding, (once again, it was thought to improve the production of milk and apparently, for my mother at least, it worked really well as she not only breastfed me but her girlfriends baby after her girlfriend began to have seisures shortly after the birth of her first daughter)
Some of the things that pregnant women endure are simply misplaced worries from other outside the preganancy. Obviously, if you see a women getting totally drunk every day during her pregnancy or drinking more than a glass of wine every day..perhaps some well thought out advice would be good..but that is NOT what this article is about.. It is about the condemnation that a thoughtful pregnant mother has to face from others when she decides to have a Americano every day, or dark chocolate, or a glass of wine, or some tuna or shell fish... and the list goes on and on about the things the mother must worry about!
Good article and I am glad it has been said..for the most part, it is better to let the woman decide how she will deal with her pregnancy and all she needs is a congratulations from everyone else not involved!!!!
The writer indicates she has spoken to her medically trained doctor with regards to what she puts into her body. Everything in moderation. I personally received the same advice from MY doctor with regards to small amounts of red wine. My 20 year old son doesnt resent me for it.
No one else has the right to decide what a pregnant woman does or puts into her body. Everything and anything can cause issue with developement and it cant always be pinpointed to a specific moment in time. Even health nuts and fanatics have babies with issues.
Everyone needs to stop freaking out so much about other people, as spend a little more time on themselves.
I completely agree with the author, and have never minded my wife having a glass of wine during her two successful pregnancies, usually during the third trimester (and she didn't have a condition that might have necessitated them!).
I wish there was a way to delete comments from people who have their own agenda and just need to shut up for a minute, you know?
Finally, as a husband, had a man at my wife's table taken a drink away from my wife and said anything like what was said in this case, well, I don't know what I would have done, but I like to think I would have made sure that he spent the rest of the reception shamed, embarrassed and apologetic. I'm ticked just hearing that he did it to the author.
Wait until the babies are born... the comments get worse. Parenting tips from the peanut gallery is annoying and obnoxious. There will always be people that think they know better than you and they will make comments about what you are doing wrong. Complete strangers will think it is okay to touch your newborn at the grocery store or act as if you are a bad person for taking your young baby out to buy groceries. Then, when the child is a toddler and throwing a tantrum at the store because you will not buy him/her a toy, someone will tell you to get the child under control or simply stop in their tracks and stare at you. It never stops. Some people will always feel like it is their place to make stupid comments or do stupid things. One will never make it in life if you cannot laugh at these "well meaning" people. I find that providing my advice to them is always a way to return the favor.
I find the uproar over a little alcohol so ridiculous. These people need a history lesson. Up until very recently most of the world did not have access to clean water and pasteurized food. In many places they still do not, and it is customary to drink diluted alcoholic beverages rather than risking sickness from dirty water. If alcohol did as much damage as they say, every child born prior to the last hundred years would have had fetal alcohol syndrome.
How many women drank alcohol before realizing they were pregnant and had perfectly healthy children? There are probably more than anyone could ever count. I think we've become obsessed about total perfection with our children. Just look at the parents who have meltdowns because little Jimmy or Suzie didn't get into the top daycare or preschool. Enough! We're talking about children and even when a mother has done everything right there is still no guarantee that the child will be born without problems. It's not always what the mother does or doesn't do. Life is unfair sometimes and we don't always have control over it. I think if everyone stopped worrying about what the other person is doing and focused on our own lives we'd all be better off. Is your child ALWAYS behaving perfectly? Then you don't have the right to criticize another parent, unless it's an obviously dangerous situation. No one likes to be told what to do or what to think, why would anyone think it's okay to do that to someone else? It's time for us all to grow up.
I would be interested in seeing this research that shows it is okay, and even beneficial, for women to drink any alcohol whatsoever while they are pregnant. IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. The fact is that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a possibility with any dosage of alcohol. I question the studies mentioned in this article. Results vary differently for different women depending upon age, genetics, medical history; risk factors are too great to ever say it is okay for a woman to drink AT ALL while she has a developing fetus growing inside of her. Furthermore, the women included in this research are asked question that require them to recall past events…they are not monitored throughout the entire pregnancy and no ethical study would ask a pregnant woman to consume alcohol while she is expecting. How many of you remember exactly how many drinks you had last week? Research actually shows that women in these studies always say less than they actually consumed! There is no way of knowing right now what the full affects are of drinking alcohol during pregnancy and the only option to consider is not drinking at all. Future parents: Choose what you read carefully. This article is not peer reviewed medical research. Additionally, ONE study proves nothing, especially if it is a poorly conducted study.
If you want to drink wine while you are pregnant, I suggest doing it in the privacy of your own home, or hiding the act in a bathroom stall. No one likes to see that. If your doctor says it’s okay, I'd get a second opinion.
Not true! There is absolutely no evidence that moderate consumption of alcohol ( 1-2 drinks/day) results in fetal alcohol syndrome. The recommendations to "completely abstain" are based on extrapolations from heavy drinkers (ie, half a bottle of spirits every day) down to zero. This is not science, and if you are a "future teacher", I advise you to learn to evaluate available data appropriately and not bang your own (faulty) drum. Also learn the difference between "affect" and "effect" - important for a teacher!
There is no longer a diagnois of fetal alchol syndrome - it is Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. I am raising an adopted son with that diagnosis. Learn YOUR data.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is not a diagnosis.
Non-drinking mother.
There are plenty of studies done on this subject.
Non-drinking mother.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is the most severe of conditions on the Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) spectrum. It is still in fact a diagnosis, it is just difficult and rare for the FAS diagnosis to be made, so more typically children are diagnosed as having a FASD. Often, even that diagnosis cannot be made.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is not a diagnosis in itself according to everything I have read. And, yes, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is an FASD.
There is no dosage given to measure the amount of alcohol a woman could consume before the EFFECTS (a simple typing error not uncommon when using word document) of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (-FAS-as it is more commonly known, or Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder - if it pleases you) are known. Alcohol can be detrimental to the development of a fetus, especially during sensitive periods of the developmental stage. What exactly is "1-2 drinks/day" anyway? How much is that? What is a "heavy drinker"? Can we have a precise measurement? An ethical physician would never say drinking during pregnancy is okay, and neither should anyone else. To do so would be a gross negligence on their part. There is no "inside" medical information. Drinking is not okay for some pregnant women and not for others. There is simply not enough evidence to even say that symptoms of FAS can't occur even after these children become adults.
For those that do choose to drink during pregnancy (and it is certainly your choice), please be able to afford the medical care and education of your disabled children so that my taxes can be spent on those children who were not genetically given a choice.
If you care to do actual research, here’s a start:
Rhee Da, Lee, et al. "DIFFERENTIAL GENE PROFILES IN DEVELOPING EMBRYO AND FETUS AFTER IN UTERO EXPOSURE TO ETHANOL." Journal of Toxicology & Environmental Health: Part A 67.23/24 (2004): 2073-2084. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 16 Oct. 2010.
I encourage readers to find their own answers, based on research findings, not mere opinions of those with obvious agendas.
On a personal note: Using big words in not impressive. Being understood by my target audience is far more rewarding than showing off my vocabulary.
For those that do choose to drink during pregnancy (and it is certainly your choice), please be able to afford the medical care and education of your disabled children so that my taxes can be spent on those children who were not genetically given a choice.
Your tax money ought to be spent on those children who were not genetically given a choice? So... the children of heavy drinkers were given that choice? Just because their parents were, they ought to be punished? Very nice sensitivity coming from a future teacher. :)
I have nothing really to say about your rant on a woman having a single drink or up during her pregnancy because any logical person would see how silly that is, but lastly, your personal note is just bizarre. No one is using big words in an attempt to net any audience save perhaps you.
Future teacher, you are out of line. An occasional glass of wine is NOT going to result in Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Spectrum of whatever you want to call it.
On a personal note: Using big words in not impressive. Being understood by my target audience is far more rewarding than showing off my vocabulary.
From a veteran educator, please take this bit of advice. Simple homonym errors (affect/effect) are the quickest way to turn off any audience. After one sees such an elementary error, it immediately causes the rest of what is written, no matter how brilliant, to be suspect.
I am not even going to comment on the rest of what you wrote except to say that there is research to back up just about any opinion. I think the woman's doctor who recommended the wine for her contractions should be the final authority as well as the woman herself as to what will constitute her healthy pregnancy. Finally, if our society really wants to worry about a pregnant population, worry about all the women who cannot afford good prenatal care, unlike the writer of this article. There are millions and millions of them around the world.
THANK YOU!!!! Of course, we're both making the assumption that our audience is sufficiently versed in simple grammar and spelling to notice the difference.
As for alcohol consumption during pregnancy, it used to be the standard of care to give IV alcohol drips to stop premature labor. Judging from some of the links on this search page:
http://www.google.com/search?q=Alcohol+drip+to+stop+labor&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=&oe=
alcohol remains a time honored and effective way to stop premature labor. If you don't like Google, use your own search engine.
Too often, people think that simply because they have heard something three times (or read it on the internet) it must be true. Not only is it not necessarily true, but even if it is you (the collective "you") have no right to impose your choices on someone else.
This is the kind of behavior that leads to the "everything I say, do, or want is far more important than anyone else's paltry little concerns" attitude, AKA bullying.
To Retired RN
100% agree!
http://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html
Okay I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but I just can not see this world holding an extra 40 million people who are also making more babies. Women must make their own decisions, then live by what ever outcome to their decisions. A few glasses of wine through out a pregnancy is not the same as a alcoholic mother to be. Do you really think that the alcoholic mother thinks about any of this. Educate our girls about birth control so they can grow up to make the right decision about pregnancy and motherhood before getting pregnant in the first place.
My midwife also gave me the go-ahead for an occasional (1-2x a week) 1/2 beer or 1/2 glass of wine. I took advantage of that twice. Oh, I would have told that man to step right off and given him a lecture to boot! What a patronizing jerk. Women do not lose their bodily autonomy just because they are pregnant, and an expanding belly does not give anyone the right to take a glass *right out of your hand* and tell you what to do. Ridiculous.
Control of a woman's womb means total control of that women's life. If you control the womb, then you control the future of that women's education, job prospects and future income which can be limited or restricted because of that control.
I am an alcoholic; and when I was child bearing almost 20 years ago, I was not really as dependant; but was still developing. I was concerned with my birth child's health an abstained from my usual hard liquor and changed over to beer/wine. my ob told me as long as i was responsible and didn't make it a habit; an occasional drink surely wouldn't hurt. i drank 1 or 2 beers or glasses of wine once a month throughout my pregnancies; and i had no ill effects. in fact; i know it was something to look forward to and was quite calming and restful. people make such a big deal. the responsible parent will know as i felt; you are responsible for the person you will raise; and if you overdo it; your child will have problems. don't condemn those that have a head on their shoulders and choose to use it accordingly. both beer and wine have definite health benefits and they should highlight those qualities. moderation is the important factor.
"Stop blaming your issues on your mother's uterus"! Hahahahah!!!!
High five, mama.
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/high-gloss-and-sauce/
I had a couple of glasses of wine here and there during my pregnancy. My sister is an ob/gyn, so I am able to get a bunch of "off the record" advice from her. Obviously, people kind of mean well, but it IS annoying when you have people who don't know you from a hole in the ground trying to tell you how to eat, drink or act while pregnant. I found it even more frustrating when people suddenly thought that my stomach was public property.
Before I go off on a tangent: it is a woman's right to decide what she's going to do during her pregnancy and I'll go so far as to say, unless you are seeing a pregnant woman bungee jumping or shooting up heroin, you should probably mind your own business. I honestly feel like pregnancy is a crap shoot now. In our overly sterile society, women who do everything right will still give birth to disabled children, while women who smoke and eat junk for the entire 40 weeks give birth to Rhodes Scholars. You can only do what you feel is best and hope for the best.
You are absolutely correct.
I think the appropriate action (by the woman in question, NOT her husband, whose battle this was not) would be to dump the glass of wine over the objector's head.
I implore you to spend a week with my son, who's birthmom drank while pregnant. He will spend his life on the fringe - falling behind in school more each year, the gap of maturity with his peers continues to widen, and socially, he'll never truly understand how to act and make proper choices.
I have seen plenty of studies that clearly show that they are not certain how MUCH alcohol can impact a fetus - and to what degree. But, I am living the reality of what has happened to him. I would never wish this on another child or family. Drink all you want - if you think that drink is worth the risk. I can't imagine it would ever be.
There are several studies that show that, though they don't know the exact amount that will cause fetal alcohol syndrome, it appears to be safe to drink alcohol in small amounts.
So that you know that I do not have an "agenda", I don't drink at all ever and I never have. I have one child.
What studies?? I've yet to see anyone for this "alcohol in small amounts is okay" argument provide any evidence of this. It's irresponsible. I'd love to read one, just one, legitimate study that says this is okay. Without knowing a woman's complete medical history, No One can ethically say it is okay for a pregnant woman to drink any amount of alcohol.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39535360/from/toolbar
Here is an article you can read about the most recent study, published October 5th, 2010. Based on your comments I can only presume you will claim this is not a legitimate study. Also based on your Handle you are not a medical professional and therefore would have no reason to know the complete medical history of ANY woman let alone have the authority to make claims in medical ethics. I am a medical professional, my husband is a doctor and my OB is a doctor as well and we all agree that I can have a glass of wine if I damn well feel like it. I can even have it while eating sushi. You, my friend, had no part in the creation of my child nor will you have any part of caring for my child and as a result have no say in what I do or do not ingest.
Happy reading!
I question your education only because of the quality of your response, and the fact that you cited a news article rather than an actual study. Your comment is completely emotional and hardly relevant to the comments that I made. I agree with you, neither I, nor anyone else on this BLOG is qualified, nor should they ever presume to make a diagnosis on a website like this.
Citing an article from MSNBC is not a citing a "study". Media is not a credible source. I hope your husband doesn't doesn't base his diagnosis on media "research".
This is a news story about a study that was published in the UK earlier this month: http://www.cnycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=521968 When I tried to click on the link to the study in 3 different articles, the server did not respond on any of them so I'm assuming the medical site where it is posted is having issues.
Most women who have a 1/2 or whole glass of wine at a wedding or a special dinner out are HIGHLY unlikely to cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in their child. My OB told me the same thing about the occasional drink, and yes, I had a single glass of red wine with my absolutely fabulous dinner out for my anniversary. I think in total, I had 3 glasses of wine in my entire pregnancy. I think extremism to one side or the other combined with the constant bombardment of advice from well-meaning but unwelcome individuals has created expectant mothers who live in fear of enjoying their pregnancies because someone like you will chastise them. No one is telling these women they can hit the local frat party and down a beer bong, for pete's sake. And ultimately, its a decision between the mother and her doctor, where I'm sure he or she is taking into account the individual's overall health before giving the green light for this activity.
Sorry, I agree with enjoyingmywine... if you are not involved in the creation, delivery, care or upbringing of this child, then butt out. I try not to tell others how to parent, and I certainly don't want people telling me how I should behave because it suits their own beliefs. Leave the advice and ridicule to the medical professionals and spend more time focusing on your own family rather than telling others how wrong they are to follow their doctor's guidance and their personal sense of what is right for them. Just like time-outs, spanking, cloth vs disposable diapers, formula vs breast feeding... it's all a personal choice that parents make. Let them make it.
And a child could just as easily have been born premature, in which case the mother would be accused of too much stress and not taking care of herself to prevent preterm labor. Let's be honest- no one can know based on looking at a person every medical issue that is going on. If I choose to have a drink (which I didn't), it is my job to be responsible about it, just as it is to not drive after drinking or while on medications. If you say you should have the right to chastise or condemn a pregnant woman, you are saying that we are less the adults and cannot make our own decisions. Treat me like a child, whether I am pregnant or not, and you damage the idea that we have brains just like men.
I want to see the articles/blogs and recriminations start blasting men for drinking prior to getting a woman pregnant, as there is ample proof that his drinking in the weeks prior to insemination cause issues as well!
I remember when I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I were at a party at his father's and I got a glass of red wine. A lot of people stared at me objectionably about it, even after I stated that my OB had said a small glass of red wine a day would be good for both my baby and me. (I suffer from a heart condition that is highly genetic, predominantly in males.) Our son has turned out just fine and he has just turned three years old. I understand what this woman is going through from personal experience; even now, pregnant with our second child (and living in a totally different part of the country) I'm still having people telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing. I am told do what I believe to be inmy limits and that's what I do; now instead of turning back to people and telling them that I know what I'm doing, I merely smile, nod and trust my instincts anyway. The mother's instincts are usually what is best, and I found that out as well, with my husband's help.
It's amazing to me how important the alcohol is to some women. So important that they're willing to take the risk with their child's well-being. It's only 9 months for heavens sake! For the child, the effects could last a lifetime. When we make the decision to help create a life, can't we just be selfless for the short time it takes to do it right?
We can debate all we want about there being no connection between alcohol and birth defects. When you weigh the two issues: possible life long birth defects -vs- the inconvenience of drinking non alcoholic drinks for a few months... Is this really a balanced scale? Is the alcohol really that vital in your life?
Come on ladies... can you take the focus off of your whims for a short while and think of someone's best interest?
The auther did not appear to be embibing on a whim.
Non-drinking mother.
Here's some more bad news. For those interested in actual research, recent studies found that "the practice of medicine is more guesswork than science” and “only 15% of what doctors did was backed by hard evidence”. All the more incentive to do your homework and start asking questions, rather than listening to the personal opinions of online bloggers.
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/06_22/b3986001.htm
Hello.... that's why they call it "practicing medicine". If there was one right, easy answer we would all be healthy and happy with few doctors to overcharge for their services. Cancer and AIDS would be obliterated. Immunizations would no longer be required because we would have conquered them all. The fact is our bodies change and grow and yes, the dreaded "evolve" word when it comes to medicines, bacteria and viruses. Yes, you should be asking questions. You should be doing some research on your own and not blindly trusting a medical professional. But the fact remains that they have far more experience than you do with real life situations and textbooks or news articles aren't always right, are they? You are citing an article because it backs what you say about trusting doctors, but you argue against someone else's posting of an article that backs their argument because it directly conflicts with your own opinion.
This has nothing to do with the article, but I find it so frustrating when rabid commentators such as AlB FutureTeacher tries so very hard to be academically elitist when commenting on the opinions of others, that I just can't idly stand by and say nothing. AlBFuture Teacher, I find it hilarious that previously you chastised a commenter for citing a media article as not being a real study and here you are doing exactly that. msnbc... businessweek. hmmm seems they are both media and I checked your 'reference' and there were no peer-reviewed published journal articles from which information was taken in writing said article. Glass houses are a real b*tch, aren't they?
Well said , dee-2526758!!!!!!!!!!
People like this author make me sick. Is it really worth taking the chance of ruining your child just because you want to have a drink and "do whatever you want"? It's only 9 months! It might have been out of line for that guy to take the drink out of your hand, but you should have never been served it in the first place. Of course, I'm sure that if they had done that, the author, being the self-indulgent irresponsible "mother" that she is, would have screamed and stomped the ground, then left and made a complaint to the BBB, and then found some way to bring up a lawsuit for some type of "discrimination".
I would hope that if you (the author, and any of you women on here agreeing with her) ever pulled this stunt in public that you would get stared at and embarrassed by your idiocy. Maybe even some wise old grandma would come up to you and scold you for being so irresponsible. Ideally, any establishment should refuse to serve any amount of alcohol to an obviously pregnant woman. Realistically, they would probably end up getting sued for doing so or at the very least complained about to the BBB.
The fact is, the ideal that people like you have for our society is one free of responsibility. You just want to spend your lives doing whatever *you* want, you don't want to have to care about anything else other than what your latest indulgence and gratification is.
The author is responsible for her own actions. She did not ask the gentleman to provide her with a drink. She was making a toast with a glass of wine, not a bottle on the table. She is personally accountable for her own actions, to which she is cognizant of.
However, your account of what you would do puts you in the light of someone who feels it is her personal duty to police the worlds actions and propagate frivolous lawsuits because an expectant mother participated in a toast with the approval and advice of her physician. Seems to me she is far surpassing you in the realm of personal accountability.
Let me guess.... You had no processed food, no chocolate, no excess sugar or caffeine, no red meat and ate only organic fruits and veggies daily for the duration of your entire pregnancy and beyond while only breastfeeding and giving homemade, organic babyfood.
There is no doubt that excessive alcohol will have some effect on an unborn child; however, it is CLEAR that the author here is not an excessive drinker. It is obvious that moderate drinking will not harm an unborn baby. We only need to look at various European countries such as France, Italy and Spain, whose women consume wine at almost every dinner and have extremely healthy babies. I truly feel for "adoptive mom naper" above, but to equate his situation with the run-of-the-mill moderate pregnant drinker is not the same.
This is truly about being informed and responsible. Which means that a pregnant woman should not "binge" drink but, rather, she can drink responsibly without harmfully affecting her unborn child and in some cases even reap benefits from that same act.
So, go ahead, drink...responsibly!
commonsense-2518265, you couldn't be farther from the truth here. It is not that they want to do "whatever they want" as you so boldly posted. It is a matter of not being told what is best for them. Responsible adults shouldn't be told what is best for them by those who "believe" they know or have dogmatic opinions.
canselmo, it IS about "doing whatever they want". Obviously, this author has the attitude that she would sit there and drink while pregnant if only to annoy and/or anger someone else. All your talk of responsible adults is nonsense. A responsible adult would never drink while pregnant, and if she does then she is not a responsible adult. I mean, I realize it might be a lot to ask of these women to think of someone other than themselves for a change (you know, the baby that is living inside of her), but come on now. Of course, it's all OK because in the end it's the TAXPAYER that will have to foot the bill for people like this authors idiocy, whether it's the medical bills or the special education classes that the child will have to take.
And by the way, it's not about "not being told what is best for them" as you so boldly posted. It's a matter of what is best for the baby, though as I posted above and as you proved with your post, for these types of women, it's all about just wanting to care about yourself and only yourself, and at the end of the day only having to worry about your own indulgence and gratification.
Did you actually read the article, or just stop after the first paragraph? Let's review what the article says.
You said, "this author has the attitude that she would sit there and drink while pregnant if only to annoy and/or anger someone else." The author of the article said, " In short, I was on doctor’s orders to imbibe when necessary." The author also said she drank that single glass of wine," To celebrate the occasion of my friend’s wedding and to slow the mild contractions". So, she was drinking to celebrate, and to slow contractions, the latter of which was suggested by her doctor. There is no mention of her drinking simply to annoy someone.
The rest of your post implies that the author was being irresponsible by drinking. Here's what you said:
" A responsible adult would never drink while pregnant, and if she does then she is not a responsible adult. I mean, I realize it might be a lot to ask of these women to think of someone other than themselves for a change (you know, the baby that is living inside of her), but come on now."
" it's all about just wanting to care about yourself and only yourself, and at the end of the day only having to worry about your own indulgence and gratification."
Now, if you won't read the whole article, at least read this part:
" I have a malformed uterus. My condition holds a real risk to the fetus of preterm delivery. When other pregnant women begin having Braxton-Hicks contractions -- a perfectly normal means for the uterus to prepare for delivery -- I begin going into early labor. In my previous pregnancies, I had tried using terbutaline, but it made me jittery, and my doctor and I agreed we would only use it as a last ditch effort. As the contractions were still very mild and rare at this stage in my pregnancy, my doctor suggested that red wine could help ease my condition. In short, I was on doctor’s orders to imbibe when necessary."
So, in summary, the author had a condition that put her fetus at risk of premature delivery. In an attempt to prevent premature delivery, the author was abiding by the doctor's suggestion to drink the occasional drink. By your own qualifications, the author must be a "responsible adult" because she was following her doctor's suggestions because she was thinking about her child's health, not just worrying about herself.
Now, would I drink while pregnant? Only if a doctor suggested it, seeing as how I don't drink normally. I don't think women should drink while pregnant, but that's between them, their partner, their doctor, and their beliefs.
All that being said, I urge everyone that wants to engage in a debate that is based on something, like an article, to actually read the article the debate is based on.
There is no dosage given to measure the amount of alcohol a woman could consume before the EFFECTS (a simple typing error not uncommon when using word document) of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (-FAS-as it is more commonly known, or Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder - if it pleases you) are known. Alcohol can be detrimental to the development of a fetus, especially during sensitive periods of the developmental stage. What exactly is "1-2 drinks/day" anyway? How much is that? What is a "heavy drinker"? Can we have a precise measurement? An ethical physician would never say drinking during pregnancy is okay, and neither should anyone else. To do so would be a gross negligence on their part. There is no "inside" medical information. Drinking is not okay for some pregnant women and not for others. There is simply not enough evidence to even say that symptoms of FAS can't occur even after these children become adults.
For those that do choose to drink during pregnancy (and it is certainly your choice), please be able to afford the medical care and education of your disabled children so that my taxes can be spent on those children who were not genetically given a choice.
If you care to do actual research, here’s a start:
Rhee Da, Lee, et al. "DIFFERENTIAL GENE PROFILES IN DEVELOPING EMBRYO AND FETUS AFTER IN UTERO EXPOSURE TO ETHANOL." Journal of Toxicology & Environmental Health: Part A 67.23/24 (2004): 2073-2084. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 16 Oct. 2010.
I encourage readers to find their own answers, based on research findings, not mere opinions of those with obvious agendas.
On a personal note: Using big words in not impressive. Being understood by my target audience is far more rewarding than showing off my vocabulary.
You could go further and ask people not to pass along their defective genes so that you don't have to take care of their children as well, assuming that they can't afford medical care and special education. It amounts to about the same difference. If you have ADD, maybe you should be responsible and not have children at all. Sounds like a plan.
ADD Non-drinking mom with an ADD son and no insurance. Oops. Good thing I got him all the way through college without the help of drugs or counceling paid for by others....
Presidential Supporter: It’s not the same thing at all. Women are unavoidably exposed to teratogens during pregnancy. When they can avoid exposing the fetus to unnecessary toxins, such as those found in alcohol, tobacco, drugs, etc., I ask why not? Passing on your genes is inevitable. Forcing your fetus to depend on drugs or alcohol and hindering them with future learning disabilities or physical handicaps is completely irresponsible.
Would you rather her had taken that medicine that has side effects to her and has probably only been on the market for few years. Why is that better for the fetus then an occasional glass of wine to stop the same symptoms. Personally I would have gone for the wine not the drug.
The whole point of the article was not about her drinking while pregnant it was about people passing judgement. When I was 6mos pregnant in a casino in Reno they had beers in interesting shaped bottle. I ordered one for the bottle to keep as a souviner not the beer but when I was carrying it around I was getting the stink eye from people. I didn't even drink it. Everyone should just mind their own business.
It IS the same thing. Knowing that you have a disorder that could be passed on to your children is as irresponsible as drinking alcohol, IF you think drinking any amount of alcohol is bad for the fetus.
Not everybody knows they will be passing down a genetic disorder to their child. Those parents of children with autistic children have no clue what has happened. Being born with a genetic disorder is not the same as being born with FAS because your mother read a ridiculous article and thought drinking a glass of wine a day was okay while she was pregnant.
Why should I have to drink a glass of wine with my dinner in such a clandestine manner, just because "no one likes to see that"? It's my responsibility to do what is best for me and for my child, not to make sure everyone around me is comfortable with my actions. Do I ask everyone who smells bad from lack of personal hygiene to stay in the "privacy of their own home"? Do I require that those who are ugly, loud, vulgar, or whom I simply don't like to hide out in bathroom stalls because I don't enjoy seeing them? So screw you, Al-B Future Teacher. If you don't like seeing me drink a glass of wine while rubbing my pregnant stomach, don't look.
That is not the same thing at all Fadriede. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. I'm telling you that the research you people are subscribing to is BS. If you want to drink while you're pregnant, then keep your messed up kid at home and teach them yourself. Your argument proves nothing contradictory to what I've said. I've cited peer review journals based on medical research. Drinking while you are pregnant is just as negligent as drinking and driving, only, it's not illegal. It's a shame we would have to make it a law for you to do the right thing.
You're right, fadriede, it is your responsibility to do what is best for you and your child. But drinking while pregnant is not what's best for your child, and if you don't like the ugly stares that people give you when you do that then don't do it. You should require that those who are loud or vulgar to shut up or leave. But as I said above, people like you want a life free of responsibility, unless that responsibility is which party or club to go to next. I realize, though, that you really don't have to care what the outcome of your irresponsible actions are because the taxpayer, AS ALWAYS, is who ends up paying the bill.
Well said, commonsense.
addressing the future crappy teacher
This is what is wrong with our schools today, hiring people like you to teach our children! I would like to say I cant believe you as a future teacher would ever say anything like you did to the other bloggers but unfortunately, there are too many A HOLES like you teaching our kids. After all, thos who cant -------Teach!!!!!!!!! If your are so damn sure of yourself tell all of us your real name! I am sure we would all like to make sure you are not going to be teaching any of our children. Or better yet maybe any school that would consider hiring you would like to see some of your comments about children! By the way, I am a nurse at a womens center for OB/GYNS and drinking an occasional glass of red wine is usually ok, depending on your personal medical history.
One more thing I do not drink never did during pregnancy or now!
First of all, you can hardly say you know me from reading a few paragraphs. Once you insult my character, I assume you have nothing of further intelligence to add to the conversation. I would teach anyone, for any reason, any time. I wasn't commenting on the children, if you read carefully. I was commenting on their irresponsible parents who would rather prove they can have a glass of wine at the risk of their unborn child's health and well-being. If you want to attack my research, I encourage that.
I'm not saying everyone who drinks while pregnant has a child with FAS. Not everyone who smokes dies of cancer, not everyone who drives has an accident...but there is a risk. You only further added relevance to my comment that without knowing a woman's medical history, it would be irresponsible to say it is okay for her to drink any amount while she is pregnant.
Additionally, Teaching IS doing...sometimes doing more than some of the parents of these kids will ever do for them. Having a Masters Degree and pursuing a PHD is not nothing. It takes a great deal of work to earn those.
Unless Al B-Future Teacher or Commonsense-2518265 are qualified medical personnel, do not assume that you are stating facts about what is best for a mother and her unborn child. Until you can tell me that you have treated patients, done studies of your own, participated in medical courses and lectures to the facts of alcohol in small to moderate amounts during pregnancy, then you are speaking strictly from your own emotional response and you need to quit telling women what to do and how to do it. That is why these women have doctors for this purpose. And the stupid comments about wanting a life free from responsibility... come on. The article is not about college kids and their induction into the sorority... to drink or not drink at the next kegger. Most women who are in this situation are married adults, well past the age of consent, who have jobs and homes and cars to get them where they need to be. To assume that every mother to be who takes a sip is going to end up a member of the welfare system for their child is a truly idiotic, narrow-minded statement.
And no, holding a Master's and working toward a PhD is not nothing... but it is not everything. I work with rocket scientists, literally. Some of the most brilliant minds who put our fine men and women into space and test flights. Just because they hold PhDs and are totally brilliant at textbooks and math, they couldn't figure out how to diaper a baby if their life depended on it. So Al, your accomplishments on your learning are to be commended, but it does not make you an effective teacher, and neither does preaching your opinions to those you are trying to teach to think for themselves.
Al B-Future Teacher
"I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life."
Ummm, yeah, you ARE.
Future Teacher is a know-it-all and knows what is best for us, so s/he DOES have a right to tell us to live our lives-NOT!!!
Sanctimonious Sonofabitch.
Ridiculous. Saying "Sure, have a few drinks" and saying "No, that' s not such a good idea"...different advice, but advice nonetheless. No one here has claimed to be a medical professional. Read all my blogs people. I said learn up on your own to know for sure what's best for you. Attacking my character proves nothing on your part. Where is your argument?
Al B-Future Teacher- you must have low self -esteem to always defend your character! If you dont want your character attacked quit blogging, dont go anywhere- oh wait! by the looks of all the diff. times of your blogs it seems you probably have spent most of your time in your house or on your computer
Why with all your degrees are you a FUTURE TEACHER, not a current one!
Dont tell me you have received most of your education online!
It does not sound like you are around people a lot!
You sound like a bitter person who does not or cannot have children and are jealous of those who can!
The argument is that you are NOT simply trying to provide advice. The article explicitly stated that she had medical issues which could lead to premature labor. That she also had issues with the known prescription medicine that could alleviate such a chance, and that A glass of red wine wight have a similar effect of halting the premature labor, while providing MINIMAL chance for a negative effect on the fetus. And that her DOCTOR agreed with the idea (albeit off the record, can't have any insurance companies catching wind of even the remotest possibility of malpractice now).
I agree that FAS or FASD are awful for children, but all the evidence I have seen (even if it happens to be footnoted in a MEDIA article) shows that small amounts of alcohol, infrequently imbibed, are NOT likely to lead to such a condition in a fetus. Yet the uber-puritans have taken the position that even such a small ingestion constitutes an abominable breach of parenting, even when statistically, it's just not so.
You still excoriated her (and others) for choosing to drink a SMALL amount of alcohol, TWICE (and at her doctors word). Do you have children? Have you ever been pregnant? Have you ever had issues with your pregnancy? If not, why do you think you have any footing/basis upon which to judge others?
You can blow me off (as you have others), or you can take my comments to heart, and try and learn/grow from them. It's up to you to look in the mirror, and spend a couple of minutes in self-analysis and personal growth, or not. Your choice, your opportunity.
Al B, you said: " I said learn up on your own to know for sure what's best for you. " but in fact, you have put post after post up here, telling ALL of us that YOU have 'learned up on your own' and that we all should just shut up and take your word for it regarding whether a woman should drink while pregnant or not.
my advice to you is not to drink when YOU are next pregnant, and otherwise let other women manage their OWN pregnancies.
adoptive mom naper- I am sorry that your child suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. but did you really have the opportunity to sit down with his/her birth mother and interview her about the extent of her aclohol use? I'm going to guess not. your child was abused in utero and ended up being placed for adoption. it's a safe guess that the first mother who wanted him was you, which is a sad thing for him, but at least he has a mother to love him now. but the abuse your child suffered before he became yours is NOT IN ANY WAY a reflection of a caring mother, nurturing a wanted pregnancy, to choose to use small amounts of alcohol. or for anyone around her casually in a social setting to presume to police her for doing so. really. they are grossly different situations
none