Mat, Meredith, Ann and Al, Does your producer believe in "equal time" for opposing views, willing to explore and investigate legitimate .....sad,sad,sad X approximately 14 contradictions to a story he has approved for broadcast??Lynlagro nailed it down, "until the kids commit suicide"!! Meredith also nailed it down with a comment, "kids should be kids", similiar to a vanity plate I ordered for my daughter "Heaven's Sake....Let Kids Be Kids", HER motto! Send an investigator to Palo Alto, CA., ask to see the railroad crossing where approximately(?) 14 teenagers have thrown themselves in front of a moving train to commit suicide!!!! Check out the linage of those young people!! If one book drew your attention, this story most certainly should!! Bullying by peers drew your attention, how about bullying by parents, both resulting in suicide! I'm praying hard that someone on your team reads these entries!!!

Thank you Grandma Bennie for this post. I too live in Palo Alto, and am disgusted that the Today Show has given 2 segments to this obviously unstable woman who contradicted herself throughout the entire interview. She said "we" are calling these Chinese values! I believe she implied by the title of her book that the way she is raising her children is by Chinese values. Of course she said that she loves her father now, but that is just a cover up to try and validate her way of parenting her children. She says she is very different at the end of the book than she was at the beginning, but she obviously is the unchanged. I hope people do not buy her book. the true test to how successful her children will be is of they can say they are happy and fulfilled human beings who do not feel that they have to live their lives to please their mother. I find it insulting that she claims that "westerners" allow their children to waste their time on Facebook and other worthless activities as if no one except the Chinese have a way to engage their children in worthwhile activities. This woman's children are going to rebel, proving that her parenting was actually detrimental not Superior ( as the WSJ put it), but she is hoping to make a boat load of money on her book and for speaking engagements before her daughters are old enough to tell her what they really feel. I hope no one indulges her and buys this book, because we obviously can't learn anything valuable from what she calls "her story."

I would love to see the report from this..... 14 Asians threw themselves in front of a train due to strict parenting??? Really? Or 14 kids? Of which how many of their parents were involved in drugs? Or single family homes? Or parents nowhere around? If indeed these were 14 Asians commiting suicide because they were not allowed to be kids then YES please Today run that story because that might carry weight!!!

If her children grow up to be just like their mom ... then I would think that she has failed in her mission for "perfection".

I will be short. Mom is type A ( and needs counseling) She is perfect so her kids damn well better be perfect also. Mommie Dearest the Chinese version. I feel sorry for her husband. He must be afraid of his wife and afraid to even protect his children.. Where was CPS???

And also - am I the only one to notice that while her children may currently not be behaving like brats - the mom is the exhibiting the absolute worst "spoiled brat" behaviour I have ever heard of, bar none??? Cases in point: (1) has to have her own way in all things at all times (yes she is the parent, but children are people and should have some input into choices!) (2) she ripped up the birthday card her daughter had made and made her cry (can you imagine the reaction if a kid did that at a friend's party?) (3) she threatens to get her own way (burning the stuffed animals) (4) she insults to get her own way and ... well I think I've made my point!

Anyway. At the end of the day, I have been inspired by her - to start nagging my kids LESS and hugging them MORE!! Yeesh.

I was watching this yesterday and was listening to her talk and the mom did say that she was making fun of herself, and that she has made some changes about the way that she is parenting. I do think that she has the right to her opion but at the same time poor kids. I know she said that she was close with her kids but when you put your kids down and don't lift them up how close can she really be with them? I do know you have to be strict but when do they get to be kids? It's sad but they will rebel and when they do watch out world.. I have 5 kids so I do know that it is important to have rules but its just as important to have fun.

Tiger Mom is simply and purely put, An agent of positive change for her children. Education IS a child's job and duty. Play and love come regardless. You do not have to make special time to play and love. If you learn to do it right, work becomes your play and you find someone who shares your interests because you know what you gifts are and how to maximize your potential. Our society is filled with depressed adults because they did not take advantage of their full potential as children. The community colleges are full of people who spent too much time playing. This couple made a decision. If more parents would make a decision and stop letting the children run the house, I wonder what would happen. WAY TO GO TIGER MOM!!!!!

Blessed, what the blank you got against community colleges? My 2 cents worth? Who knows what makes a good parent? You can find any number of successful people, and any number of miserable failures, resulting from each and every parenting school, or no parenting at all! An old timey Miami dj said it best, (in terms of music, bread, or parenting styles) "Good's what you're used to".

I am in total agreement with InnisSee. I was raised in a similiar environment. My parents were very, very, strict and I find that as an adult I have many difficulties. I constantly have the need to please others especially those in authority. I am always apologizing to others when there is no need to do so. I work long hours even if I dont feel well. I have this need to prove to myself and others that I am above average. I cannot be satisfied with doing a good job, it has to be an exceptional job, or I fee as though somehow I have failed. This is not healthy nor is it right! Putting these type of demands on children is wrong and insane! It will interesting to find out what happens to adult children who have been raised in this type of environment. I can almost guarantee they have issues/problems steming from their childhood. Do yourself your favor and dont do this to your children you are creating adult misfits in society.

I am with InnisSee and Char. I was raised by a Vietnamese mother and an American father. My father engaged with us, played games with us, and showed us lots of affection, when he wasn't gone for long stretches of time on business. But my sisters and I were terrified of my mother and considered her an absolute tyrant.

Much shame, much yelling, much hitting, little affection. I was repeatedly told from the time I was an infant that I was "going to be a doctor, no matter what." I was told that I was fat, that I was never going to be Miss America because I fell down and skinned my knee, that I was clumsy and lacked any common sense. I was beaten when I wanted to play on the school playground (verboten!) with the other "dirty, inferior children" and sullied my dress. There was no excuse, no explanation for a less than perfect grade.

This method of "nurturing" didn't help any of us turn out to be "perfect".

I also find myself still constantly trying to please authority figures and still trying to please my own parents at almost forty years old. It took years of hard work and self-searching to become my own person. Not to mention family therapy after I, too, almost self-destructed in college (as a miserable and inept pre-med student). Only then did my mother relent in her "discipline" and start trying to understand that there was a person here underneath the perfect image she tried to hold up to the world.

I honestly feel that if therapy had not opened up honest discussions between my parents and me, I would have moved to the opposite coast and cut off all communications with my mother. We would not be able to share the joy we find now in our extended family. And, worst of all for her, she would not have had a chance to enjoy her "precious grandchildren" she now sees on an almost daily basis. And I would have been gleeful in my vengeance eaten ice-cold.

Mothers, is this how you want your daughters (and sons) to feel about you in your golden years? Then sow abuse now, that you shall reap hatred hence.

This mother is doing her daughters a great disservice by not allowing them the valuable lessons of learning how to handle failure and disappointment. A person needs to get over these in order to learn and move on, not apologize for the rest of their lives.

Agreed - this book could very well be called "Italian Catholic parenting" or, any other type of negative, 'I hate my kids' parenting. I had a strict, negative environment growing up that has had lingering effects on my relationships as an adult. I've always been a really hard worker, overachiever, with low self esteem. It's done a number on my ability to form good intimate relationships since I don't really feel worthy deep down inside - even though intellectually I know that's not true, I've never been able to work past certain things emotionally & know that I'm past 50, it's too late for me. A little bit of confidence & feeling like I'm ok as I am would have gone a long way toward a happy life as an adult.. I can't believe this type of thing is actually getting air time on television. My mother should be on TV - at least I might get a piece of the action . . . .

Some of you people are so stupid judging other people on how they parent there own child maybe you should look at you own kids and see what kind of relationship you have with them.I say what ever works these days why not do it and it might just stop kids these days from shooting innocent people or them selves I just say we should worry about our own situations with our kids and stop trying to down grading other on how they raise their kids get a life people.....................................

I think you stifle development if you oversee your children as opposed to parenting them. It's easier to criticsize than to teach. Thin line to walk if you are being raised like herd and you have the more than just the cowbell to follow. You will always wander off because we are not machines and also they are too young to have your experience, but expected to act like they have it. Pressure for them.

I agree with you. Maybe if kids had a healthy respect for their parents we would not have much bad behavior and crimes.

I am with you Anne23-2901425

Mommy dearest:

最親愛的媽媽

Awesome post Anne !!!! Best One so far ..... There still might be legal avenues to charge her with child abuse. The local DA should look into that.

I agree!

I a agree with Brian. Actually I was thinking the exact same thing. How could you "waste" air time with Snookie, and then cut off an intelligent person who has tried to write how she was challenged in finding the best way to raise her children to be successful. So disappointed in Today again.

Wish I would have known, would have TiVo'd. I'm off to work now. The Today Show's loss. Hope another program gives her the time to develop her thoughts further. I'll buy the book at my local bookstore this afternoon.

I agree with Brian and Lyn!

We agree with Brian. Comments claim you need to let your children do what they want to do and what they don't want to do to be able to be a productive adult for the future.

Why stop at music, arts and sports. Why not include at Dentist, Doctors' appointments and going to school. When we were young we didn't want to go to the dentist, doctors or school but our parents made us go because they new it was the best for us.

So with the reasoning to let children do what they want or don't want. What if your child said they didn't want to go to school. Would you then reason, "If they don't want to go, that is their decision, I don't want to stunt their growth". We are sure the majority of the parents would "force" with love your child to go to school. Would it be an act of love to let your child stay home and not get an education for the simple reason that they didn't want to go?

What are the results of Asian parenting? We have seen Michele Wie (13 years old), having been parented by Asian parents, practicing golf in Hawaii. We heard her complain about hitting balls to her parents (both parents were with her). We heard her complain about practicing her putting. If her parents were to decide, "She doesn't want to practice, it's her decision lets go home because she wants that." Michele may never be who she is today. We are sure she loves her parents and what they have done. We agree there will be ups and downs between parents and children. We all have some experience in this. But isn't that what life is?

What we are trying to say is that we have different styles of parenting. Amy Chua is trying to do the best for her children and her success or detriment will be seen in the future. If Amy Chua felt her parents treated her harshly, would she then carry that on to her children. We don't think so. We always want to try to do better than our parents. We give her credit for expressing her feelings in a enviroment that has lost traditional family values and discipline. We are not promoting child abuse but discipline, control with love.

We need to give children a controlled freedom. Not one that is uncontrolled.

Children are like springs. Let it go at once and it goes all over the place. However, if you let it go slowly, it will stand up and become productive citizens of the community and society in general.

Wouldn't you agree that if we thought back to when we were young and did what we wanted we may not be who we are today. We sure wouldn't or at least we know we wouldn't.

Whether we are Korean, Chinese, Western, or other, WeAreOne. Our focus should be to do the best for our children. We are encouraged as parents that many of you have voiced your opinion. We, too, are trying our best for our children as well. What the number of responses show us is that all of us are trying our best with our children to make them successful and to make this country great again.

Good parenting to you!

I also agree with Brian! American kids score so low in reading, math and science. We need to take a lesson from Amy Chua. My Mother was a stay at home mom who was very nurturing but let me quit everything. I graduated from High School with about a 3rd grade level of education. I was very insecure which led to low paying jobs, drinking and drug use. Now at 34, I am back in school getting A's. I feel like a new person confident with a bright future.....a little late but that's ok. I will never forgive my mother for letting me fail. I needed a mother to guide me and push me to be the best. Maybe, Amy is a little harsh but I think parents could take a lesson from her otherwise this country is going to be Very SAD.

Monique, It's not your mom's fault that you did poorly in school or that you quit things. Doesn't sound like you were forced to quit. YOU just did. Don't blame your mother for something you had the power to do. I'm glad you have found your way and your future is bright, but it was YOUR LIFE not your mothers. You had the power to stick with whatever you tried and to be all you could be. Sounds like you may have been lazy. Not your mom's fault.

I think the verdict is still out on if her kids are successful. It would be interesting to see what their lives are like in 20 years....

M.E.K 1991---- No matter how the child turns out, good or bad, it ALWAYS stems back to the parents. Letting them quit everything without seeing it through is a recipe for disaster. Children don't need freedom, they need and crave structure and guidance.

Wow. I so wholeheartedly disagree with these comments supporting this woman. This isn't about strict parenting, this is about verbal and emotional abuse. I have felt this from my parents, and they are not nearly as harsh as this woman. I am so traumatized by the lack of compassion and love from my mother that I deal with suicide every day of my life. I am not perfect, yet I was raised to accept nothing less than perfection. Every time I have a minor setback, I freak out knowing how much my mother will disapprove. I can't take the stress of being perfect.

I was raised in a completely Christian home. Never had to worry about money. My parents don't drink or do drugs. I went to a great school. My upbringing would be applauded by all of you. Suicide and depression do not only stem from poverty and a bad upbringing. You guys are seriously deluded if you think that is where it comes from.

Hear hear

Just as you cannot group all Asian parents in one group, you must not group all Western parents in the same. Parenting is a very big responsibility and should never be taken lightly. Each child is different and the world today is even different from when we grew up. Parents must be parents and in charge, but there must be a well rounded education. Verbal attacks and belittling your kids is not the best answer; it would be just as bad as hitting your child. There are enough pressures for kids today that sometimes lead them to suicide. The need our guidance and the knowledge that we will stand behind them to matter what.

Definitely agree, as evidenced by my subsequent comment.

AMEN!! It seems that in this country we have become so concerned with a child's "self esteem" that we allow them to get away with any and everything. Instead we should be promoting self control and discipline which will develop self esteem. Children are capable of so much more than we give them credit for. If we expect proper behavior from them, we will get proper behavior from them. The disservice happens when we make excuses from them and don't give them the tools they need to succeed. This woman didn't look like she was lacking in self esteem AT ALL!

How true!!!! Take a look at how many ADULTS are NOT productive and can't control their behavior. Their children will turn out the exact same way...because of bad parenting!!!!! Kids TELL their parents what they will and will not do these days and it's being allowed. Why???? Who is the one that is suppose to be in control???

ie; Snookie or whatever her name is and the rest of the cast from that show and others like it!!!! My kids aren't allowed to watch such a waste of air time. WHY??? Because I will get the "well if they can be that way, why can't I". UMMM because it is not acceptable behavior!!!!

I am tough, but not tough enough....will be going out to buy the book. While some things I would not put into practice... A LOT I will.

This woman screams and belittles her children on a regular basis. This is abhorrent to me and has nothing to do with disciplining your children.

Many parents today need to be stricter with their kids - but ripping up a child's birthday card and making the cry? If you agree with that then I truly feel sorry for your children. Guilting a child because you spent a lot of money on their birthday parties? Maybe it would make more sense to have a less extravagant birthday party - that would teach the child a lot more.

Excellent point Aimee. TIME is what we need to give to our kids. Not expensive gifts and extravagant birthday parties. If parents just spend an extra 30 minutes a day with their kids to get to know them better and to create lasting wonderful memories on a daily basis versus 1 vacation per year then the kids will be better off.

I agree Aimee. Parenting is great, and no parent should let kids just do whatever they want, because kids don't always understand the consequences of their actions. But this emotional, verbal (and i'm sure there was physical) abuse of kids is not right. I was emotionally and verbally abused as a teenager, and it has ruined my life. I deal every day with the question of whether to kill myself or not, because I cannot see myself living up to the expectations of this world that everyone needs to be perfect. Every day I think, what's the point? I don't know how to love people because I never felt love. I sure as hell don't love my family, and never have. If they were all gone I really wouldn't care, because they have no impact on my life.

What do her kids really think about this issue? Really, truly. I'd love to ask them confidentially. I'm sure they wouldn't answer honestly on TV because of the disapproval of their parents. I mean, hey, look at Ada from the last season of The Biggest Loser. I think she would be the perfect spokesperson against this type of abuse.

Congrats to you....a job well done!

Good for her. Maybe if we had more parents like her things like the Tucson shootings wouldn't happen. Children these days are allowed too much computer and video games and not enough studying. Parents ae letting everything else rise their children. When I grew up you did homework and chores and them was allowed to go outside to play. We need to go back to the old days of discipline and family time.

Wow complete generalization, PMiracle and everyone above. My parents are both teachers. I never had any problems in school, nor did any of my siblings. I was able to read before I was 3. I have played piano since I was 7, viola since 10, violin since 12, cello since 13, trained as an opera singer since 16. Was Salutatorian of my graduating class. Graduated with a 3.975. Have been testing at the college level in reading and math since I was in the 4th grade. But the emotional and verbal abuse I got from my parents who told me PERFECTION is the only way, just like this woman says, causes me to want to kill myself every day. No joke. Literally. Can be documented by several visits to mental institutions. Generalizations about parenting are wrong. Each person is different and needs to be raised differently.

Good parenting is awesome. Abusive parenting is not. This woman is far more than strict. She is emotionally and verbally abusing her kids and is more than open about it.

Jay-Iowa

I know this is a late response, but Jay-it sounds like you have some pretty heavy issues. Maybe you shouldn't be broadcasting your suicidal nature on comments in order to "scare" your point through. We can all agree that Amy's parenting is intense and ridiculous by any "Western" standards but we don't know that her kids are going to be suicidal, like yourself.

I think people are quick to point out those who have a rough upbringing due to things like poverty and lack of opportunities, are more likely to be suicidal, but as you've said these are generalizations. Same with you. I don't why your parents abused you to the point where you are now thinking of killing yourself...but maybe instead of posting all over the web about your depression and struggles, you should go into therapy and find some positivity in what was so bleak of a childhood.

I have Asian parents who raised me to believe that A was the only acceptable grade and I am nothing but thankful for that. Why would you want to set the bar lower? Aren't we all supposed to aim for the highest...for our best? Saying kids are doing their best when they are scoring average or below is just an excuse for parents and kids alike who didn't try, or try harder. I'd really like to seriously argue with any parent who is okay with their kid being last in class because "they tried their hardest." BS. To address other factors such as success in the future-my older sister is a successful practicing attorney in downtown Los Angeles, with a beautiful house and a great life. I, myself recently graduated from a top public university in CA and now work for an investment firm in downtown. My sister and I are both fun, sociable, NOT AWKWARD, and successful all thanks to my mother who was strict about academic success.

The key is to know what your kid is capable of and if he or she is doing their best. I am a mother of two, my girl has been on the honor roll since 1st grade but my boy has been diagnose with Attention Defficit Disorder which prevents him from being as advanced as his sister in many ways including social behavior, selfsteem, academics and sports. He has been in therapy for a year now and he has been improving. So we have had to learn what to expect from each of our kids. We teach them values like responsibility and respect, and that adults make the rules. We support them in every way we can. We also shower them with love and let them know that it is important for us that they are happy. We want them to learn how to make a living but we also want them to remember their childhood and us, their parents, with love. Because life is so short.

Karen, us, Immigrants tell our children to get straight As because we believe they can. Americans tell their children to "Do your best!". When the child comes home with a C, the parent questions him/her and the child says "I did my best mom!"

right on!

At last! A voice of reason from the gallery! Lucy comes across as an exceptionally well-balanced mom. I viewed this morning's interviews with alarm. I predict that her daughters will need extensive therapy to survive as adults. I taught nursing students for 20 years and vividly recall working with a highly intelligent Asian student whose parents decided that she should be a nurse and who forced her to enroll as a nursing student in much the same manner as the mother interviewed on "Today". She verbalized terror at the very thought of displeasing her parents and complied although her career interests were in fine arts. She was academically an A student, but she hated the clinical application of theory and had no interest in nursing. Her clinical performance dramatically reflected it. I encouraged her to withdraw from the program early because I could not give her a passing clinical grade; a clinical failure would mean an automatic course failing grade. She did withdraw from the program, but she was terrified about facing parental repercussions. I never heard from her again and have always wondered what happened to her.

Lucy and Ellen have great points. Many things this mom says are good for her kids. Parents should preach the importance of education, and being the best citizens they can. But Ellen and Lucy are completely right that moderation is the key because of the potential psychological repercussions of this extreme abusive behavior set forth by the book's author.

Amen to that!

Well let me tell you the books written by ump teen psychologists in the past 20yrs really seems to be turning America into a wonderful society......

My #1 parenting rule Do NOT buy anything written by anybody with PhD behind their name. Every friend I have that follows these books have the most screwed up kids I know.

Sorry just my observation of raising my kids in a real world!!

I face the psychological consequences of a mother like this every day. I am severely clinically depressed and face the possibility of suicide daily. Being strict is ok, but it needs to be coupled with love, which obviously this woman does not show her kids.

Why is China so rich? Are you kidding me? There are currently ~ 300 million Chinese living in poverty right now vs. 43 million American living in poverty. That number would probably be higher if 43 million poor hadn't died in the Great Starvation of the early sixties .....What was your point exactly?

I agree with an earlier poster who pointed out that this way of parenting makes great memorizer automatons, who I'm sure do great in professions like medicine or law. However, I'd be very surprised if this type of parenting produced innovators, inventors and Einstens of the world. Why? Because intelligence is also about creative thinking, problem solving and adaptability - things that are difficult to learn if mommy and daddy are choreographing every minute of your life and telling you what to think, do and be interested in.

What's sad to me is the apparent motive behind this ridiculousness, which is not their children's success in life or happiness, but a need to feel superior to others through the achievements of their children. How pathetic.

Come on Steve, Chinese are just people. Until recently, they were 99.99% poor peasants, who never got more than 10 miles from the house in which they were born. And, they still haven't had an important invention in a thousand years. Every last bit of their recent success owes to two borrowed (stolen) western ideas. (1) capitalism, (2) communism.

As for wasting time, didn't the Chinese invent the opium den?

Course, convincing Chinese ( or French, or Americans, for that matter) that they are really just ordinary people is impossible. But, I try.