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What do you think of the 'pink, princess' girl culture?
Journalist Peggy Orenstein wrote "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" (read an excerpt here) out of concern over what messages the "pink, princess" girl culture was doing to her daughter Daisy. Far from being a harmless phase, Orenstein says the girl culture that's aggressively marketed to children actually sets girls up to focus on their appearance and become sexualized younger and younger.
What's a parent to do? "Lock our daughters in a tower," Orenstein joked to TODAY's Ann Curry. Hmmm, tempting. What do you think of the 'pink, princess' girl culture?
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Watched the show today and my feelings are similar. I am raising a 4 yr old grand daughter. I tell her that her job is to be 4 yrs old, playing with her princesses, tea partys, and dressing up is just a part of that. Getting outside and playing with bat n ball, planting and getting dirty are also parts of being 4 yrs old.
She watches TV and comments about having breasts when she gets older worries about her booty looking good in pairs of jeans. Wanting make-up on. I tell her it is not appropriate for her age to worry about things that pre-teens or teens worry about. Our society is putting our children in roles beyond their years way too early. We need to teach toddlers and little girls to be just that.
What is your 4 year old watching that makes her think about having breasts, looking good in a pair of jeans, and using the word "booty"?? I don't think pink princesses are your problem.
Oy Gevalt! I am raising kids and can honestly say that if your 4 year old even TALKS about those things she may be exposed to more than she ought to be.
Turn the darned TV off Jill! And how come you are raising your grand-daughter?
Anyhow, I know I am going to get slammed for this but so what.
Jill, a four year old shouldn't even notice boobs or consider how she looks in jeans. I am glad you are telling her to play princesses and also get dirty and play ball. But what we "tell" kids isn't as important as what they absorb when they listen to us talk to our friends, or how they see us act in front of a mirror. I know I am overweight and not very fond of my reflection now-a-days but my daughter will never hear me say that. Nor do I have things running on my tv that would in any way give her the idea that how her jeans or boobs look is of any importance. When it comes to image I only stress on these factors: Are your feet and hands clean. What about your nails? They must be short and clean. Is your hair clean and combed, are your clothes clean and covering your body? No belly button here!
Talk is easy, now walk the walk and turn off the tv while you are at it!
Seriously, I thought her excerpt might give me some insight but all it did was bother me. We are the parents, We make the decisions.
In our house, our children will develop into whatever they want to be. Im not going to deprive, or overexpose, my daughter of/to anything. She likes bugs, frogs, mud, rocks, trains, cars, blocks just as much as she does ponies princesses dress-up and the like.
We do avoid the color pink, simply because its annoying; purple is much more comforting. She paints her nails and makes funny faces in the mirror. She won't stress about her looks because we (her PARENTS) don't. We instill love, trust and confidence. If she wants to wear mismatch socks, great! Looks don't matter one bit (and we're a fair looking family)
I'm not going to turn her into a butch because I think the world would bowl her over. Are you kidding? Intelligent, caring women will rule the world. As long as she has a good head on her shoulders she'll be just fine.
FINAL POINT: There are SO MANY other things to worry about than the affect of a color and toy on a girl. Why don't you write about the affect of corporate and political greed? Now, how is that affecting my daughter, Ms. Orenstein?
PS- someone should call children's services on Toddler's and Tiaras. Now THAT should be your topic, not the wishy-washy Freud-based rhetoric you spew. Amen.
Honestly I have more of a problem with the Disney part than the princess part. turn off the TV/DVD and crack open some books! Whatever happened to Nancy Drew and Anne of Green Gables, Little Women and Little House on the Prairie? These are all strong, imaginative girls who have great adventures. AND the big plus is there is nothing to BUY! One need not participate in crass consumerism to raise a child.
I stopped lessening to these so called experts the minute (years ago) the said it was healthy for children to have sex with adults. from that minute on wewill be what pushes her in what direction. I have sought to expand her imagination she can make any thing into any thing (yesterday she used here baby doll as a hat).
These experts are filled with what comes out of the south end of a north bound dog.
She is only two but I keep telling her once a princess always a princess. Every morning I tell her good morning princess. Girls have a hard life being judged at every corner So I will do every thing to start her with a good self image.
Auto 101
!? What are you referring to in this statement?
This was A statement that was published about 10-13 years ago. Which one of the largest psychiatrist organisations in the country said it was healthy for children to have sex with adults. They recanted this statement the same day.
They need to feel special .We go to far picking people
There is nothing wrong with fairy tales; they can build imagination and creativity. I wnt through that phase and it was wonderful. I then did a pre-teen backlash to tomboy. I think I turned out fine. Fairy tales are like any other book, story, television show, movie, it provides entertainment and an escape from reality. I will admit there are some more risque versions out there that need screening (ie some catered more for pre-teens than a 5 year-old.) It's the parents' duty to due the screening and make sure their child understands the difference between fantasy and reality as is age-appropriate. It's when you have a child that EXPECTS to be treated like a princess (instant gratification) or expressing concerns about looks that you have a problem.
I grew up being a VERY girly girl, I loved the disney princesses... I have a 2yr old daughter, when she see pictures of Barbie she says "mommy!" I also have a Masters in Cell and Molecular Biology and I am now earning my PhD. I am trying to teach my daughter that steryotypes are not roles to follow, but ideas to challenge.
My grandaughter loves the Disney princesses but she also loves swimming and playing house and playing teacher. Let little girls try their wings in a variety of playroles and encourage their individuality....Family does matter here!!
my daughter went through that also and is now 9 and moved on, it was just a part of her that she wanted to go through, the princess phase is usually for little children and at that age they are more honest in what they want she also did other things that were not princess like also I don't think it harms a child and who would want to make a little child feel bad about themselves just for being who they are?
Are we seriously discussing this? Get over your own grown-up issues and let little girls be little girls. Remember, most "princesses" are not raised by The Housewives of New Jersey. My daughter wore a princess dress nearly everyday when she was four. It's a phase. At five she dressed up like Clifford the Big Red Dog -- she doesn't think she's a dog now... In the fourth grade she was into everything with skulls, it didn't turn her into a "goth" child. She's now twelve and likes tye-dying, am I afraid she's going to turn into some sort of rebel or hippie?? -- heck no -- it'll be some new phase next year. She's a great kid who volunteers in our community, is a leader and is very well-rounded.
Come on ladies, little girls (and little boys) go through these phases. They don't really think they will grow up to be princesses or super heros. It's called allowing them to have some IMAGINATION and CREATIVITY-- something children and adults could use more of these days!
My daughter loves to dress up like a princess, play the drums and drive her trucks. Playtime is what encourages the creativity she will need as she gets older. Nothing wrong with that.
We have an epidemic of entitled females in this country as is evidence by shows like Sex & The City, The Kardashians, Real Housewives, The Bachelor, on and on and on. More and more, women are having children in the inner cities, knowing that if they don't get their child support, they can sponge the state and society. MTV's Teen Mom series is showing this as well. It's like they want a doll to play with, or a child as a social symbol. Some women are intentionally seeking a first husband who is a good provider to father their children, knowing they will eventually dump him so they can have man "A" pay for their children, while they then are free to find man "B" to augment their personal needs. The word for our new anti-male culture is "misandry". Television commercials are consistently mocking men. Family Guy, Married With Children, all of them are showing the silly stupid male who should just shut up and take a back seat to the female. Toddler & Tiaras... WHAT??? Seriously, I'm not saying all women are like this of course. But a growing portion of our females in America are becoming so entitled it's disgusting. Women's empowerment is not about stripping men of their power, or being catered to. It's about equal treatment. And it's high time the Princess Mentality gets knocked down a notch so young girls grow up to value and empower men in our society as much as they value and empower themselves. Stop shopping as a sport and go make the world a better place. I think we've all had enough of the Paris Hilton parade.
My daughter wore a tiara the entire year she was 6. Today, at 13, her favourite subjects are math and science.
Still, I worry about the depiction of girls and women in the media and particularly the lack of strong role models on TV for our daughters. That is why I created and produced Ruby Skye P.I. (rubyskyepi.com), an online detective series for kids. Ruby is a 15 year old wanna-be detective who gets herself in and out of trouble and eventually saves the day.
The series uses young actors who look like real kids and aren't styled by Hollywood. Girls ages 5 and up love Ruby and admire her, not because she's wearing pink, but because she's smart and capable.
Unfortunately, Hollywood and Disney have very different goals for our daughters than we mothers do.
There is no relationship between "pink, princess" and SEX! I can not believe the author made this leap! Princesses and pink promote sweetness if anything. Then little girls grow out of the phrase because they think it is too babyish. Little girls collect Lipsmackers not to be SEXY they collect them for fun like Silly bands. Why is this authors "opinion" being told on the Today Show like she is an expert!!
The old Disney movies portrayed the princess as a beautiful, but helpless 16 year old who's only goal was to marry her prince charming. Recent Disney Princesses are strong, determined, independant women. Smart, savvy gals who also happen to be so beautiful and charming that they still snag their prince. My daughter loves everything princess, and I support that. We read together, write together, sing songs, and reinforce the concepts of being kind, thankful, responsible, and empathetic. When she gets all dolled up in her princess outfits, you can see it in her face that she feels beautiful. When she's kind, generous, loving, and thoughful, people respond to her in a way that puts that same look on her face.
When my daughters were young, I bought them toy trucks and cars, and other "non-female" toys to play with, determined that I would not "brainwash" them into stereotypical "female" roles. They ignored them. They wanted to be princesses, not fireman. I've concluded that males and females are just wired differently.
My 3 1/2 year old daughter developed her facination of princesses by watching Snow White and Cinderella (she also happens to really like pink). That's pretty benign and typical. I'm convinced that she will grow out of it and have other interests as she grows up and learns more about life. As those interests develop, I will support her if she wants me to.
When I was her age, I was facinated with the Six Million Dollar Man and GI-Joe. Neither of those manly ideals are part of my manliness today. After all, GI-Joe and Steve Austin didn't change diapers, feed the kids, make lunches, do the dishes, wash and fold laundry, take their kids to the park, etc.
- Unconcerned Dad.
My 5 y.o. niece is big into the whole Princess thing after a brief stint of being obsessed w/ Hannah Montana and Dora. Each phase comes and goes. Through it all, she still likes to play w/ my old toy cars and dinosaurs. And she'll play w/ my old Ninja Turtle and superhero action figures that my parents held onto. She loves that her uncle played w/ all those really cool toys when he was little. I wonder what Peggy Orenstein would make of that.
Took my young daughters to see the re-issue of the first Star Wars, thinking, "Princess Lei" will make them interested. They both fell asleep in the theater.
My daughter is 28 tomorrow and she is the most independent girly girl in the world. She is smart and wonderful and at 4 loved the whole I am a princess thing. She did not plan her whole futur at the age of 4 and I did not stop teaching her then either. She can do just about anything on her own but appreciates having a door held open for her and a man that doesn't want to jump into bed the moment he meets her. It does not make her feel less of a person. You young mom's don't realize that you have a whole life time ahead of you and you need to appreciate it and relax. There are bigger things in the world to worry about than if your daughter wears too much pink and wants to be a princess at age 4...a 4 year old is only taught about sexy by her mothers attitude about it.
Oh puuuleeeze; people are so uptight. I grew up watching Disney and didn't have any sort of problem separating reality from fiction...or being disappointed because a knight in shining armor never appeared on his gallant steed! If your child has a problem understand the difference between the pretend world of television and reality; perhaps you should see someone about that...you know a professional? Just a suggestion...
My 4 year old daughter enjoys dressing up as a princess. She completes her look with tiaras, dress up high heels (like mommy's), and sparkly jewelry. She then grabs her American Girl doll and our maltese and jumps in her power wheels police cruiser to go arrest bad guys. No better balance than that. My kid is just fine.
And as far as Disney Princesses go...Mulan kicked butt, Tiana worked hard to solve her own problems, and Belle showed personal sacrifice, kindness, and empathy in a difficult situation...are people really saying these are characteristics we DO NOT WANT OUR DAUGHTERS to have??
Oh, FYI folks...it is entirely possible to wear lipstick and pink dresses AND be strong and capable. Telling girls they can't (or shouldn't) do both is where the greatest problem lies.
pookiesmommy, can your daughter take over some of the law enforcement agencies. She sounds more together than most cops. She can probably take down the bad guys quicker.
You are correct about what you said. I have no problem with girls declaring they are princesses. I have a niece who used to say she was a baby monster, I have a nephew who I called Gollum (yes I did). I think the problem in this country is that the good things kids want to do, people think it is bad and vice versa. No, being a princess, liking pink, etc., does not make a girl do those things. I think parents are trying too hard to force their kids to grow up and then when they do, they have a problem with it.
My daughter always loved the color yellow, then one day she came home from preschool and stated that she like pink, all girls liked pink and all boys liked blue. I told her it was ok for her to like pink, but I was a girl too and I like green.
The next day she came home from preschool and stated that girls have long hair and boys have short hair. I just had to laugh and ask her if she had taken a good look at her father lately. I had a short chin length bob, and my husband's hair was long enough that he kept it in a pony-tail. It was just a phase, but for a bit I was upset at the gender-bias she was being taught.
She has grown up to realize that not everyone is cookie cutter, and it is OK to be a girl and like yellow (or blue or green or black). She thinks girly-girls are a bit silly and the princesses she admires are the self-saving type who aren't waiting for prince charming to do what needs to be done.
The other day she heard another girl in a short skirt complaining about how cold it was, she told the girl to be sensible and put on some pants. I almost laughed out loud.
She certainly wasn't permanently stained pink by the princess culture, thank goodness.