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Subscribe to RSSMost parents are torn between two conflicting impulses during the holidays. We want to make the holidays magical for our children and give them everything their little hearts desire.
But, we don’t want them to get spoiled.
It’s a tough line, and in the safety of an anonymous survey, most of us admit we go overboard. Our TODAY Moms and Parenting.com online survey of 6,000 parents found that three-quarters of us think our children are a little or a lot spoiled. Almost 60 percent of us think our children are more spoiled than we were as kids. (“When I was your age, I would get socks for Christmas, and I liked it! Then I would walk to school uphill both ways in the snow.”)
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Better not pout... or glare at your parents with homicidal rage because they got the wrong Barbie Dream House. Are your kids spoiled by the holidays?
Who’s to blame? Sometimes we can point the finger at grandparents and other relatives who turn every holiday into a spending spree.
More from Parenting.com: Are your children spoiled?
But more often, we know exactly who the spoiler is – us. Moms reported they plan to spend an average of $271 per child this holiday, with one in 10 saying they’ll shell out upwards of $500 on gifts for each child. Despite the struggling economy, only 1 in 4 moms say they plan to spend less on presents this year.
Live Poll
Compared to other families you know, are your kids:
“I have spoiled my children. I have always been under the belief that if I don’t give them everything, no one will,” one mom confessed in our survey. But, she’s trying to fix things: “I have started to change that mentality. I have asked them to start working for their gifts. The funny thing is, they don’t mind at all.”
Click here to read more spoiled-kid confessions from our survey
Of course, parents are caught in a guilt trap. If they give their children too much, they feel bad for spoiling them. But if, like many families this year, they can't afford to buy what they want for your kids -- well, that feels even worse. Three-quarters of moms say they feel guilty saying no to things on their children's wish lists.
"I am a single mom who just tells my son I will do what I can, and if I can get what he wants then I try my best," one mom wrote. "But he knows the true meaning of Christmas, and being with family is the most important thing to us.'
Even parents who can't afford it will often try to splurge at the holidays. One mom wrote of a disastrous Christmas: “I spent about $1,000 on two kids and wasn’t working at the time. On Christmas morning they opened them as fast as possible. They had at least 20 items apiece and they actually said, ‘Is that all?’ I was hurt and actually cried and cut back the next year (some).”
As for teaching the true holiday spirit, 70 percent say they donate to charity – but 20 percent say they don’t do much of anything to teach kids to give back. And one-quarter of moms say they never make their kids write thank-you notes.
We do have some standards, though. If a kid pitches a fit when Grandma gives him socks instead of a Wii, 98 percent of parents say they’ll take some corrective action, whether it’s making the child apologize (68 percent), reprimanding the child (19 percent), or giving them a talking-to later (8 percent).
When it comes to keeping kids in line, the best strategy, of course, is to model gratitude and good manners. But if that fails, there’s always the good old “Santa’s watching” threat – 57 percent of parents say they use this one.
How do you raise grateful kids? And if you fear your kids are already spoiled, how to you reverse the damage? Join TODAY Moms contributor and parenting expert Amy McCready, author of “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…,” for a chat on the TODAY Moms Facebook page at 1 p.m. ET on Tuesday.
Let us spoil you with more great stories from TODAY Moms:
Your cute kids: Scared silly by Santa
The most popular baby names of 2011
How to teach smart money habits over the holidays
Full Survey Results: TODAY Moms and Parenting.com's online, non-scientific survey of 6,000 moms
Do you think your kids are spoiled during the holidays?
Yes. Our gift-giving has gotten out of control. 19.9%
A little. We could definitely cut back. 56.2%
No. We set limits and stick to them. 23.9%
Do you ever feel guilty for saying no to something on your child’s wish list?
Never. We’re the parents spending the money, and they need to accept that. 24.1%
A little, but we openly discuss why some gifts aren’t possible. 57.7%
Yes. As parents we want to be able to give them everything. 18.2%
Compare how spoiled your kids are to how spoiled you were at their age. Are they:
More spoiled 59.0%
Less spoiled 10.8%
About the same 30.2%
What do you do to teach kids the importance of giving back during the holiday season?
Volunteer as a family 16.3%
Donate gifts and/or money to those less fortunate 70.2%
Other 16.5%
Not much 21.2%
Do you require your kids to send thank-you notes?
Always 30.7%
Sometimes 41.7%
Never 27.6%
Your child pitches a fit when Grandma gives him an unwanted gift. How do you handle this situation?
Immediately apologize on your child’s behalf 3.5%
Make your child apologize for his behavior 67.8%
Reprimand/discipline the child 19.2%
Nothing in the moment, but we’ll sure be talking about it later 7.6%
Laugh it off…kids will be kids 1.8%
Do you bribe kids into good behavior with the “Santa’s watching…” threat?
Yes 57.1%
No 32.5%
Not applicable 10.3%
Do your kids spend their own money on gifts?
Yes 36.3%
No 22.5%
No, but only because they’re too young to have their own money. 41.2%
Your child is begging you for this year’s “must-have” (but impossible to get) gift. What is the most extreme measure you’ll take in order to get it?
Stop by the store a few times and hope it’s in stock 43.9%
Visit multiple stores until I track it down 27.9%
Wrestle it away from another parent in the toy aisle 0.5%
Wait on abnormally long lines 12.6%
Research online until I find it 50.0%
Pay a premium to get it 7.2%
All of the above - whatever it takes 3.8%
None of the above 17.7%
How do you keep holiday spending under control?
Setting and sticking to a strict budget 38.6%
Bargain shopping at outlet stores, using coupons, etc. 49.7%
Only buying gifts for the kids 28.5%
Gift exchanges like Yankee Swaps and Secret Santa 7.7%
Set strict limits on the number of gifts given per person, regardless of age 16.2%
We don’t! This isn’t the time of year to hold back. 11.2%
Do you feel pressure to keep up with other families this time of year?
Absolutely 7.9%
Sometimes 38.7%
Never 53.4%
Approximately how much will you spend per child this year?
Under $25 1.3%
$25 to 50 4.2%
$51 to $100 13.4%
$101 to $200 26.7%
$201 to $300 24.2%
$301 to $400 12.4%
$401 to $500 7.8%
$501 to $1,000 7.2%
More than $1,000 2.6%
Mean: $271
How will your holiday spending compare to last year’s?
We’ll spend less. 25.9%
We’ll spend about the same. 66.1%
We’ll spend more. 8.0%
Do you have a friend or family member who spoils your kid too much?
Yes 49.8%
No 50.2%
Have you ever asked anyone to scale back the number of gifts given to your kid?
Yes 54.8%
No 45.2
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Leave a Comment:
As a great grandma speaking, are you people out of your minds? What ever happened to the spirit of giving and the celebration of Christmas? Have the corporations done such a brain washing job on you families that you just have to give little Johnny or Janey that new electronic gizmo? No wonder how children are growing up bullies and such. They don't know what "no" means or we can't afford that.
Grand kids probably hate you.
Seriously? The holidays are for getting together with family and having fun. Any gifts given and recieved are just bonus.
My husband and I are not religous, but we do feel that Christmas is about family and especially the children. We buy a couple gifts for each other, but most of our spending is on our daughter, neices and nephews, and my younger siblings ( though not as much as they get older). We don't buy a lot of toys during the year (just for birthdays), so Christmas is our time to go all out. But we don't forget the less fortunate kids during this time, we either give to Toys for Tots, or a similar charity solely for children.
we have always given to toys for tots but this year my kids helped a family at our local homeless shelter. instead of finding more money my kids agreed that they would just have less this year. i think my kids are spoiled enough and this is their way of giving back.
I think the tone of the article is off...the amount you spend really does not equate to a child having bad behavior or being ungrateful...It is the kid and how they are raised.
In our family I probably spend the average...around $200 for each and another $50-$75 for stocking gifts....Santa usually brings the big gift and the clothes are wrapped under the tree from mom and dad. Grand dad always gives a nice gift around $50. Grandma can't give much because of her fixed income so she generally gives a joint gift with their aunt...The kids offer the same gratitude to their grandmother as they do their grandfather and yes they are required to send thank you notes.
I think all kids at some point have spoiled or entitled moments. They are after all kids and if they don't have those feeling how will they learn to be reasonable in their actions. When ours ask for something that is not reasonable or in the budget they can buy it themselves, which usually requires them saving their money instead of binge spending when they have some money.
As for kids being giving or charitable at the holidays... first of all it shouldn't just be at the holidays...I think if parent are willing then kids can certainly be involved in supporting others. Our schools do a new toy drive every year...my children each take in a toy...at Christmas Texas Children's has a Santa that goes room to room giving something for Christmas, The year we were there it was the most wonderful thing for me, my son was very little and had no clue, but it offered me such hope in his recovery and gave me the peace to see his stay through. Every year we take a bag of toys to be given....My children choose the toys and go with me to the hospital to deliver them. I think that gives them a very good sense of giving and impresses the importance to care for others, especially at Christmas. Through the year they are involved in other charitable events where they have sold lemon aid, collected to jump rope for a cause. My daughter is in AFJROTC. They have many events that offer them an opportunity to give back to the community from collecting for soldiers, which all the kids do through school to working at various events to support a charity.
They aren't involved so much in the other efforts that my Husband and I support with cash but then that will come with time as they grow.
I think kids are by nature giving beings they just need the opportunities to share that are appropriate for their ages.
You're right: How much you spend on a kid at Christmas matters a whole lot less than how you're raising them day-to-day.
I spend the average amount on my kids and they're some of the best-behaved kids I know. They've never pitched fits over gifts. If anything they're too ready to keep something awful forever just because they don't want to offend the person who gave it to them.
Me, I'm a big kid at heart. It's easy to go nuts around the holidays because I want to play with all that cool stuff too!
I am SOOOO glad to read your reply here!! I completely and whole-heartedly agree with what you are saying. I fully admit that I spend a ridiculous about of money at Christmas on my kids, partly because we are from a very small family so they don't get a lot from extended family such as aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. They don't ask for a lot either, I just love love love watching their eyes light up at the pile of presents Christmas morning!
And for the naysayers - poo on you. Christmas is one of the only times we do provide them with gifts, as we don't tend to buy much on birthdays or other holidays. We have traditions that we keep up each year, that as they get older they get more and more involved in. From the time my eldest was three she was fully participating in buying gifts for her father and I (and now sister) - now that she is 8, she uses her own money that she has saved up. I keep them up to date on what we are doing for providing for others - haven't yet had them contribute their own money, but they certainly know about us buying toys and necessities for other families. They know full well the presents are a luxury not a right. And we spend hours and hours openning gifts - yes we have a lot, but they could be openned in well under an hour. However we have stressed from the time they could first rip wrapping paper that they are to acknowledge and appreciate each item, and not just rush through for the next thing and the next thing and the next thing ... so that is what they do - open, admire, play, (or read ... lots of the gifts are books; and fashion show new clothes) then move on.
Do my children get lots of toys, games, clothes, and treats on Christmas morning? Yes. Are my children spoiled? Not in the least. As mentioned in the posts above, parenting is a 24-7-365 day a year job. The other 364 days they learn about charity, and budgeting, and leaving within your means, and not accumulating debt. For them to have 1 day a year where they can just experience the unbridled joy of having a day for them, and where we can just enjoy our kids being kids, is a perfect balance for our family. And to further verify my point of view - my eldest (little one is still too little to understand yet) child is always WAAAY more excited about handing out her gifts that she bought and seeing our reactions, as she loves giving almost more than receiving! Well, so do I. So I love to give to those who I love most in the world!!
P.S. We have always been complimented on how kind, caring, well-behaved and just generally all around nice our children are - not just from friends, but from strangers, and no I am not making this up as a deluded mom. I work quite hard at being a good parent which includes certain expectations for behaviour that I will follow through on as needed. If we had even the slightest hint that they were demonstrating ungrateful behaviour of course we would modify our approach. But if it ain't broke, why fix it? (and again for the naysayers - yes we contribute significant amount to charity so I don't have a problem providing my kids with lots of things while knowing other kids are unfortunately going without - as we certainly do (more than) our fair share to make sure we help out with other families. It is all about budgeting, some people go on fancy vacations or drive luxury cars, or live in huge homes - we prefer our second-hand paid-for car, to forgo vacation unless that is the present instead of toys etc. and to live in a small home we can afford, so that we can then enjoy Christmas without guilt).
“I have spoiled my children. I have always been under the belief that if I don’t give them everything, no one will,” Um... since when is it REQUIRED that children get EVERYTHING. This is absurd and the reason people have an "entitlement" mentality. This is why people today are rude, disrespectful, self serving, selfish and they spend their lives CONSUMING instead of CONTRIBUTING to society.
I was terribly spoiled as a child. My mom had a good job and I was an only child so I basically got whatever I wanted. Being spoiled like that is terrible and has caused problems in my adult life because I want so many things but the money for it is now coming out of my pocket.
I WILL NOT do that to my daughter that is arriving Jan 18th.
Thank you for recognizing that!! My husband was an only child (also named Mike, actually) and I think his views of money and getting what he wants come from the fact that he was completely spoiled as a child! If he wants something, he wants it immediately and needs to be reminded sometimes that it can wait. Neither of our parents were extremely well off, but mine showed my sister and me the importance of budgeting. I got an allowance for my chores and if I wanted something more expensive than my allowance, I couldn't spend it that week. I'm pretty sure his parents just bought him whatever silly thing he wanted, when he wanted it.
Are you sure I'm not your husband? Lol. I am the exact same way. I don't want to be but after so long of getting whatever you want, you can't just change that.
I am getting better now that we are expecting a baby (and we need to save money) though I sure do still love spending money, mostly on myself because I am also selfish, but I think that has more to do with the only child thing, I never had to share anything growing up.
I am going to do my very best not to pass the spoiled trait on to her.
Why am I never included in these so called polls? And who are these people "they" call upon for such polls? hmmmmm?
This is the hardest year ever for me, and some of you say you can spend $200 on each child and then some on the stockings? What??? I think I might be able to do $20 for each child. And I have to compete with parents spending $200 on their child?!!! Bah friggin' humbug!
11...$200 or $20 it is all relative...I think it is sad that you feel some sense of competition for Christmas...That is not the point of giving or receiving a gift.
I do hope your children feel grateful for what they receive because it will be given with love and thought. If your children know that this is a financially tight time for you they should treasure what they get even more.
I do hope when you wake up on Christmas and the children open their gifts that they also open their hearts and give you extra appreciation for not only what you do for gifts but more what you give of yourself every day of the year. So a special Merry Christmas to you and may the blessing of the season continue to follow you through the year with good fortune in your life.
Didn't feel competitive until...I read some of these posts. : (
I suppose I'm a bit of a worry wart and worry that after the Christmas break all the kids in my kids classes will brag about all they received. I do want to be able to give my kids nice things they actually want. And I can't...not this year anyway. Dang it... I want to cry!
Oh well. You are right... it's about the warmth of the family. And I hope I've instilled that in my children. Thanks Texas Mom! Warm wishes to you and yours as well. :::sigh:::: :::thinking happy thoughts:::
You should see if there is an adopt an angel or some other toy drive going on in your area. I have been where you are and it is very depressing. My wife and I learned to start looking for the kids presents early. Most stores start putting a bunch of toys and electronics on clearance around sep-oct in anticipation of all the christmas items. I have been lucky and this year we are spending what seems to be the average here 150-300 a kid, we make sure they both have the same number of gifts but we don't worry about how much we spend on each one, they don't seem to notice things like that. We also donated quite a few items to the adopt an angel program in our area and my wife put one of their collection boxes in the store she manages. We never had to use a toy drive because when we were in a bad spot we had family members who took up the slack and the kids got a good visit from santa but, if that had not been the case I would not have hesitated to try to find a charity toy drive that could have provided some toys for our kids. Keep thinking those happy thoughts! I hope things go well for you and your kids.
Can't stress using an angel tree program enough. My husband and I haven't been blessed with children yet and our neices and nephew only need so much. We're in our early 30's and it's fun for us to buy for kids at Christmas. Especially when you get to see their age and what they want. Life is hard.. the worst day can be followed by the best so get help where you can and like Texas mom said... it's all about family and what you make of it. Merry Christmas. :)
When my son was in High School, it was a competition and I didn't have a chance. His high school was in a zone that had old oil money and some of the kids actually got things like, brand new Mercedes and Lexus's! Everyone had an Iphone the first year they came out! They did compare after Christmas break and my son's game console or whatever, which I actually went into debt to buy was just a miserable excuse. My son got bullied for living on the "wrong side of the tracks". He eventually ended up quiting high school and getting his GED.
Sorry to hear that Melba. : (
It's not the kids that are spoiled. It's the parents.
Children are just a mirror of what the parents pour into them. If your child acts out or is ungrateful look in the mirror. You'll find the problem looking back at you.
how about this? i spend MY money on what i want, and not worry about what YOU think about it.....YOU didn't earn my money I did!! and my kids don't get whatever they want they get what i can afford. but its none of your business what that is!
what kind of idiot would even think this is a story that just had to make front page news. the reporter must be new.
We are in the 200-300 range. That buys my oldest 1 gadget and my youngest like 6 little toys to unwrap. The grandmas give 200 a piece and the aunts and uncles buy for the kids 25 dollar max. All of the kids have so much stuff neices, nephews etc..they have no idea what to buy and the kids don't know what to ask for. We are struggling for ideas for each kid. I get a bigger gift myself for the holidays because my birthday, anniversary and christmas are all within 2 weeks. Toys cost more this year as well as the clothes. I am spending slightly more per present for the mom's etc. In the last year or 2 we moved up from 200 max to 2-300 per kid because the money did not go as far. I want the kids to know Santa came but not be extravagant or have a large credit card bill.
Easy way to avoid overdoing it at Christmas? Have a budget.
We operate on a year-round budget and Christmas is just one of many, many items that have to be covered by my paycheck. Put in that perspective, it's very easy to keep things under control at the holidays. Especially when you really sit down and look at everything you'll spend money on: dress clothes for special occasions, decorations, gifts for OTHER people, food, travel. . . If you can't muster a moral or social reason to keep your spending in check, sheer economics should do it for you.
My kids hear "It's not in the budget" all year long. So, hearing it at Christmastime (or on birthdays, etc.) comes as no surprise or shock to them. Kids only get angry when they expect something different than what they get. Don't lead them to expect a pile of loot under the tree and you won't have the problem. Of course you'll get questions when the kids down the street are getting everything under the sun, but having a few foreclosed houses nearby makes it pretty easy to explain where that behavior leads, too.
As a proud parent of zero children, I enjoy splurging on my kids that don't exist. That involves me spending money on presents from me, to me.
My parents, wife, family, and friends also reap the benefit.
It's hard because $200 doesn't go as far as it once did. I think my parents spent about that on me 20 years ago at Christmas. I let my kids write down 10 things they want the most and I try to spread their list amongst the family so my parents and my husbands parents (aunts and uncles too) can get them something they really want too. "Santa" usually gets them 5 or 6 items off their list as well as a few little things they didn't ask for - but cost a lot less. This way they get almost everything they ask for yet it's not all bought by us. Also, when they make their list...we dissuade them from putting certain expensive items on there. They really don't get EVERYTHING they want...only the stuff that mommy and daddy agree with. The kids are usually satisfied with that too.
When I was a kid, we got maybe $100 worth of "goods"... I remember one year I got a bicycle.. that I used for 7+ years... that was the "big gift." As my parents made more money the $$ spent on gifts went up... my mother now spends about $500 a child... I am 25, and am no longer really getting this amount. My two younger sisters, however, are. They are spoiled rotten. I can barely stand them. They are my mother and step-fathers children. My father is rather poor and I think it has given me a much better view on life. For Christmas from him we got things we needed, and maybe they spent about $25 per kid.
It's not about how much you get... My sisters get 500$+ on presents for Christmas, about the same for Birthday, and to make matters even worse my parents buy them whatever they want hither-tither all year long... When I was growing up, the only time we got new clothes was either for Christmas or "school shopping." My sister, who is now 19, has at least 6 laundry baskets full of clothes when she "cleans her room". She has way more than that, along with whatever new gadget she wants. I finally got a T.V. in my room two years after my youngest sister (she's 10 years youner than I am)...
Now that I am older and married my husband and I spend more money on travel than material items... my parents always complain about how much we travel. As a family we NEVER traveled unless it was a car trip that took less than 5 hours driving... I feel like my husband and my life is much fuller by spending money on travel in stead of material items... we still have things we want, but we do not spend atrocious amounts of money... When we decide to have kids this will continue... I really want them to see the world and get richness in their lives by experiences, not by "stuff."
I love your idea of spending money on experiences not "stuff." My husband and I did that before kids and now do that with our two daughters. We are lucky and have a good income so we could buy gadgets or a bigger house but we choose to spend money on private school and travel instead. The kids don't have a lot of "stuff" - no video games, adequate clothes but not too many, etc. We live in a nice neighborhood (another good experience for them) but small house with one bathroom. If we had more money, I would still choose to live in a smaller house and keep the gadgets to a minimum. It's better for the family I think.
We save to take a big family trip every 2 years and we take extended hiking/camping trips every summer. Our last big trip was to Europe and we saved for awhile to do that but it was SO worth it. The kids interest in history, other cultures, langauges, etc. went way up. They talk about the trip all the time and are helping to save for our next family trip.
Many of their friends have more "stuff" and so they sometimes ask for $100 leggings or whatever crazy fad is out there. But they always say they would much rather have trips or family experiences than things.
I always remember, even when I "got everything I wanted", being envious of people who travelled and had less... As children get older they grow to appreciate that kind of thing over the "crap" that inevitably gets shoved in a closet or taken to good-will. I plan on going to garage sales, etc, for my kids toys when they are little and for their clothes... Babies don't have to cost as much as they do... I had never even been to an ocean before I turned 18 and bought my own plane ticket to go somewhere and saw it... I feel like I missed out on a lot growing up... I was a lot more "restricted" as a child with what I got compared to my sisters.. but I would trade ALL the stuff I got for one good vacation. I had never even been on a plane before I was 18... My parents make a great income, over 100k, they now own their house (which is huge) and they drive nice vehicles... they chose to be "home-bodies" and buy junk.
My husband, who is from the Netherlands, had seen more of the US than I had when we started dating... I'm trying to catch up, and we do travel a lot... I love it. We went to the Netherlands this last summer for a month and stayed with his family. We saved, and I came back and went to work early teaching summer school to pay it off... totally worth it... but I don't have the newest of the new... Maybe I'm a hippie... I feel like all this material stuff just weighs a person down...
My grandson is almost 6 yo and I notice that he likes a lot of other things related to christmas, beside gift-giving, like helping with the baking and decorating the tree. Lets also remember to help support other Americans by being mindful of our gift -giving. Instead of making the Chinese rich this year , how about a gift certificate for dad to get a haircut at his favorite barber or a car wash, all which support Americans. A gift certificate for little Jr to go to the science museum with his dad or mom. Maybe cleaning grandmothers closet or garage or spending a weekend to rake the leaves. My grown son was very grateful when i bought him and a friend a ticket to see " Cats, was the most memorable gift i ever got." Also, remember to not support machines like self checkouts that take an american job away from someone and complain to management that they have the machines.
It's true most kids that I know or live in my general area are spoiled. Maybe it's become an epidemic. Can you imagine 1,000 little boys and girls with the expression the little girl has above staging a occupy the presents movement,because they thought they were gypped at Christmas. I can! Most women and children don't do well when they don't get what they want for Christmas. Trust me, it's not pretty when it happens.
my son is still 14 months old and he doesnt know much well about gifts yet, but as a parents coz usually our friends would asked what my son need or wthat my son wants.i just told them,just anything,something that they can afford.even the cheapest things, we really don't care.we are happy that someone remembered our son.i want to practice this forever,so when one day came and he will going to have his own kids he can pass this kind of attitude.
Wow, $271 per kid? Are they getting a lot of toys or just a bunch of small things?
I spent right at or just under $200 for both my kids. Stocking stuffers I try to gather throughout the year.
Interestingly enough...my son (age 12) is home sick from school...we were reviewing his science notes for his midterm and in order to distract me from the lesson he wanted to show me what he made me for Christmas....I asked him to surprise me but he was so proud of his work he just couldn't wait for me to see it....he made a Celtic knot necklace out of a shoe string...It really is very well done and I know that he worked very hard in art to create just the right look...I can't imagine that I will receive a gift as precious as this one...it will be great for t-shirt and jean occasions. To me he has the spirit of giving down right.
I spend about $250-$300 per kid, but they're older and the one or two things they really want are a bit more expensive. I don't (and never have) gotten them everything they want, but I do try to get them the one big ticket item that's been on their list all year.
They also don't grow out of their entire wardrobe every 6 months any longer, so I haven't had to fork over a small fortune on clothes every year. As the cost of clothing and school supplies shrinks, I'm able to spend more on Christmas gifts.
Neither one of mine has ever thrown a fit because they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas, and although they have had their moments of utter greed for cool new stuff, neither of them have particularly ungracious if they don't get it.