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Subscribe to RSSThe worst three words to hear at Christmas: "Is that all?"
TODAY Moms teamed up with Parenting.com to survey 6,000 moms about whether kids are spoiled by the holidays. Short answer? Oh boy, yes. Click here to see the full results, including what extremes parents will go to in order to get their kids the must-haves on their Christmas lists.
We asked moms to share their children's worst "ungrateful brat" moment, and what they did about it. The dreaded "Is that all?" -- usually heard after opening dozens of carefully chosen presents -- featured in many stories. Sometimes, a screaming meltdown in the toy aisle or a gimme-more attitude under the Christmas tree is just a laugh-about-this-later kind of story. Other times, a brat attack serves as a wake-up call; many of the moms who responded to our survey said their families made major changes as a result of holiday misbehavior.
Read on for some of the worst moments. If any of this looks familiar, join us on the TODAY Moms Facebook page on Tuesday at 1 pm ET for a live chat about un-spoiling with TODAY Moms contributor and parenting expert Amy McCready, author of “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…".
Get real, grandma!
My 4 year old son opened an art set my mother in law had given him and his reaction was to throw it down and scream "Oh! Come on grandma! What were you thinking?" I was horrified. Luckily she didn't hear him. I took him to the side and reminded him that even if we don't like something we say thank you or we'll hurt grandma's feelings.
Three gifts were good enough for Jesus...
Last year my then 3 year old didn't get the treasure chest that was on her list and threw an hour long fit. We explained that Santa can't bring everything on the list. This year Santa is banned and the kids will get stocking stuffers, 1 gift they want, 1 gift they need and we will have a larger family gift. No more Santa in this house. Everyone will get 3 gifts just like Jesus did.
Not the thank-you we were hoping for
5-year-old was upset not getting the exact gift he wanted. Then proceed to pull down his pants and pee on the carpet. Off to his room to think about it.
When a homeless guy gives you a pitying look, you know you're in trouble
I hate to say it but there's a few moments that I can choose from, but the worst that sticks out in my mind is when I was giving a homeless man doughnuts that we had just bought, we were in our car and my daughter started screaming, noooo that's mine! She actually said she didn't want to give him any. I handed the man the bag and drove off feeling like a heel. We had a long talk about sharing that night and about a year later we still have issues sharing.
And thus, the reason he's her ex
I can't recall my child having any memorable ungrateful moment. However, I do remember my ex-husband storming out of his parents home one year because they had spent more on our daughter that they had spent on him.
Something wrong with your ears, mom?!
My 6-year-old son decided he wanted a pack of Mexican jumping beans. He got mad when we said no and said, "But I said I WANTED it RIGHT NOW!" That really didn't work with us. We firmly said no, and immediately walked to the car and went home.
Secretly sympathetic
My 7-year-old son was obnoxious and ungrateful to the worst person possible -- an overanxious, overprotective, unpleasant mother of a school friend. I made him write a letter of apology and sent it in the mail, although secretly I was sympathetic -- she brings out the worst in me, too!
In your face, mom!
My daughter was given a much wanted gift from Santa after we had explained to her that Santa may not be able to fill such a tall order. She proceeded to shout for joy and scream “see I told you I’d get it from Santa! I TOLD YA!” Not the grateful appreciative response I’d hoped for.
Get this kid a lump of coal
He spit in santa's face
And you think the doll has a big head...
My daughter isn't too bad. She's usually pretty thankful for what she was but, last Christmas she kind of upset me. She wanted a Lalaloopsy doll SOOO bad last year. Well of course the one she wanted was no where to be found! So my husband searched and searched online until a week before Christmas for the one she wanted and FINALLY found one...for $20 more than it was worth. But we ordered anyways. So on Christmas she was so extremely happy she finally got one! Until I took it out of the box and handed it to her, she seemed a little surprised about how big and heavy it's head was. Well later on she took all her presents in her room, except her Lalaloopsy. I brought it in to her and asked her why she didn't wanted to play with it. She then said "I don't like her. Her heads to big and heavy." I just said okay and turned around and walked away. If only she knew what we went through to get that stinky doll!
Is this all?
A few years ago, after opening a pile of presents, my oldest turned around and said "Is this all?". After we discussed why that was ungrateful and unnecessary, we then set a limit on presents each child receives. First it was 3 gifts from each person - this year, each child chooses ONE thing that they want from each person. Hopefully, it will be more meaningful that way.
We created a monster
A close friend of our family came back from a trip bearing gifts for my children. Upon receipt of his gift, which was a little hand-carved wooden box from one of the countries my friend visited, his response was, "Oh brother, is that all?". I immediately sent him to his room and I followed shortly thereafter. I let him know what a rude, ungrateful little sh_— he was and that his behavior was going to result in some serious alterations in his acquisition of new things. He was then sent out to apologize to our friend. After our friend left, my husband and I discussed his horrible behavior and knew we had created this monster by our buying the kid just about anything he wanted, anytime he wanted it. His punishment for this behavior was being grounded for a week and each day of that week he had to pick out four of his gazillion toys to donate to homeless children. When the first day of "toy picking" resulted in him picking out little throw away "Happy Meal" toys, he was grounded for an additional week and informed that two of the four toys would be chosen from his favorites. We've stopped over-the-top toy buying and limit our purchases to special occasions or as rewards for stellar behavior and accomplishments. It took several months for my son to quit asking us to buy him something every time we walked into a store, but he eventually gave it up and is much more grateful for the things he does receive. It was a tough lesson for all of us!
Ruined Christmas
It wasn't my kid, it was my cousin's kids. We 'draw names' and have a limit of $25. My husband and I drew the two children of my cousin. I bought each of the child a $24.86 gift that evidently wasn't good enough. The children are six and seven years old. They kicked and screamed and asked if that was "all [they were] getting" because it was stupid and they didn't like it. It literally ruined Christmas. For the record, my cousin did nothing but sit there and ignore them while they screamed and ran around crying. I had zero tolerance.
Want to give them everything I never had
It is difficult to determine when to dismiss bad behavior and selfishness as attributes of young children and when they should "know better". Having grown up extremely poor I have always been more determined to give my children everything and make sure they never want for anything - the result, they are spoiled. On one hand, I am happy that they cannot fully comprehend hardship because they have never experienced it but at the same time it truthfully does disgust me a bit. The incessant need to have more, regardless of what it is.
How about I get you nothing?!
I was in a store with my daughter and she wanted a stuffed animal that came in many colors. I picked one and put it into the cart. She stomped her foot and yelled, "NO, NOT THAT ONE! I wanted the blue one! NOT the red one! YOU GET ME THE BLUE ONE!". I put the red one back and told her that I would not be getting her any color at all. I told her that because she was disrespectful and by demanding something that was a gift to her, she lost it. If she had asked politely, I would have exchanged the colors.
Tag, you're spoiled!
I took my 6 year old son to play laser tag and we had a lot of fun. Afterwards, on the way home he said "We only got to play 2 games!" With kids these days it never seems enough. I was really mad and hurt by this. What ever happened to "thank you?"
Xbox versus food
He wanted a Xbox. I can not afford one. He had a fit stomped his feet, screamed in the store. We walked out of the store got into the car and came home. After he and I calmed down I explained to him once again how I could not buy one. I gave him the choice it was either food or a game system and asked him which was more important. He thought about it for a while and said food, and that he was sorry for acting like a brat.
The kindness of strangers
Demanded I buy some candy at the store in the check out. He kept screaming. I couldn't wait to get out of the store. I just kept ignoring him and told him since he was throwing a fit I could not buy the candy and I was not going to reward him for his actions. Maybe next time if he was good in the store he would get a treat. I thought I was driving the lady crazy in front of me. Most people give me dirty looks or tell me to just get it for them or even buy it for them. Instead this nice lady as she was leaving, told me I was doing a good job and was so glad I did not give in. It made me feel so much better and made it so I could get through the rest of the check out process with a screaming 2 year old. When we go home he went down for his nap.
It's a learning process
Accepting a gift graciously has been difficult to teach to our now 4 year old. When he gets a gift like a book he simply puts it to the side and asks what else they brought for him. Infuriating. It is getting better with time and lots of talks about it.... especially before a guest comes that we know will be bringing him a gift. Preparing him to be gracious is key.
That will suffice
After we bought her a $300 skateboard she asked for she unwrapped it and didn't even say thank you or smile. She said good. We informed her that it would be now her birthday gift as well since she was ungrateful.
Tears under the tree, a holiday tradition
After tearing through dozens of really cool Christmas gifts my son, who was then 6, began to cry. The reason? There were no more presents to open. With all of the excitement and build it seems the letdown was inevitable. It's just not a Christmas morning without tears under the tree ; ) Still makes me and my husband laugh.
Heckled on Christmas
After opening more gifts then anyone should receive my child turns and asks " That's all I get? Bunch of cheap people"!
Is that all?
After opening all his Christmas presents, my son actually looked at me and my husband and asked, "is that all?" After we picked our jaws up off the floor, we had to explain that he needed to be happy with what he received because there were kids who didn't receive anything that day and that he should be thankful for anything he got that day. Made us realize he was getting extremely spoiled and have scaled back Christmas each year since.
Repeat offender
After opening a gift from a friend, my daughter (5) looked at the little girl giving the gift and then me, and said, "MOM! I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS!" I WAS MORTIFIED! I stopped the whole thing, pulled her aside and told her how hurtful it was and how ungrateful she was being. She cried of course and refused to say she was sorry! WOW. I'm sure people thought we were great parents. She did the same thing to my mother-in-law a month later for Christmas! Repeat offender! Now we have a talk 2-3 times a week about two weeks prior to brithdays and Christmas with both our kids. GOT to be prepared for these things! Kids are so honest, they have no filter until about age 7!
The end of Christmas as we knew it
My oldest child was 5, his sister was still an infant, and he had opened all of his gifts, looked around, and threw an absolute temper tantrum about the lack of things he perceived he had earned/warranted/expected. TANTRUM! Crying, yelling, name calling (to us!), using SWEAR WORDS, breaking things.... My husband and I were stunned. Who was this ungrateful, ugly, brat of a child, and how did he get into our house?! That was the end of Christmas as we knew it. We were so ashamed of his behaviour, but truly we were ashamed of ourselves. We had let him become this way, we had allowed this behaviour. This was the worst episode, or the most obvious to us, but it had been ongoing. There had been tantrums in the store that were soothed with a candy at the register. Hurt feelings were eased with a special present. We were those parents, and I hadn't realized it until that moment. What a slap in the face. I'm glad for that morning though, it really taught us that we had become something we never expected. We took a big trash bag and collected every last toy he had received, and the non-essential clothing items (the fun clothes, he kept the boring basics). We told him he could keep one toy, and the rest were going to charity. I don't think he believed us, but we took him right down to the soup kitchen and handed over the big bag of unwrapped toys. The screaming and crying was almost surreal, but it was a such an important day for us. We got back on track and have stayed that way ever since - our children make their Santa list for what they would like to give others. We shop Black Friday as a family and fill our cart (probably $150 total) with toys and games. We are proud to bring each and every last of those toys to Toys for Tots. Our children write hand written thank you cards, AND personal/phone calls for every gift they receive, even if it's a tooth brush. And they are likely to get more socks, underwear and toothbrushes under the tree than toys. We do gifts, we get them toys, but really just two or three items that would be considered Christmas Toys. Our focus is on our family, how we can celebrate and be grateful for what we have, how we can share that with others, and how we can continue to look for the true meaning of the season: in our house, that means love, giving, and kindness. I'm grateful for that Christmas morning. It got us here.
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And while his pants were down, his butt should'a been "warmed."
All this 'time out' crap has gotten us nothing but an entire generation of spoiled brats.
Wow, I am shocked about some of these kids' behavior and ungratefulness! Maybe it's time some of these parents took their kids to a homeless shelter to see how good they have it compared to other kids.
This happened to me one year when I bought gifts for my two nieces. At that point in their life they were already spoiled and had to have exactly the same gifts or they would fight. I didn't have much to spend but purchased them each several gifts. When the tearing and ripping was complete the oldest girl looked and me and said "Is that it?". I was really mad! These days due to our income I am the one that feels guilty for not being able to get the really good things my kids want but they seem pretty happy for what they do get. My nieces are now adults with kids of their own!
peed on the carpet and only got sent to his room to think about it?!!
Oh heck no ... yes you'd get sent to your room til Mom can calm down enough to spank your hiney calmly and then you WILL clean the carpet, apologize to everyone AND give the gift back/to someone else .....
Words to live by that my mother always said and that I use on my own kids: "Even if I actually had all the money in the world to buy you everything you wanted, i wouldn't because I love you too much to do that to you."
Not saying my kids are angels--they aren't!--but selfish brattiness isn't something I have to deal with, thank goodness. Now if anyone has any advice for kids who do their homework but don't hand it in...
I LOVE that quote from your mother! What I have been trying to tell my kids, but worded so much better! :)
@ Rebecca-302136. OMG! My daughter does that exact same thing (11) and it kills me every time. I took away everything that distracted her. She was one of those "gimme brats" when things were getting out of hand I sat her down and had a talk. I told her that she is the way she is because she has really numb parents and it's not ALL her fault but things are gonna change, it would be nice if her dad supported me in this but alas he wants to be her friend. Not me I want to be her Mother and prepare her for what is really out there. LIFE! we won't always be around to pick her up. I hope you find that answer too, when ya do share it please. Good luck best wishes and happy holidays
Ungrateful brats-every last one of them!
While I appreciate the parents sharing these stories, and admire the ones who were able to recognize and correct their child's behaviour, I have to say that they also highlight to me a common parenting fault ... that parents wait until it is too late to teach their kids proper behaviour and manners. My kids are grateful now, because they damn well learned it when they were young enough to talk! Sure it was inconsistent and a learning process, and had to be catered to age-appropriate expectations. But start early and consistent with our delivery, we did. (the inconsistency I refer to above was in their actual behaviour, not our expectations, as when learning some days are better than others).
Case in point - my eldest ripped one of my friends' items she had loaned me. I sent her to her room (short term lesson) then followed up with the long term one - brought her a picture she had made and loved and told her 'You like ripping things so much? Destroy this!". She started bawling, I will never forget the look on her face! Then I said "You know how you feel, right now, in this moment? That is how other people feel when you destroy their things. Just because something isn't special to you doesn't mean it isn't to someone else. Respect other people's property and if you are feeling destructive - destroy your OWN things!!". Followed up by an apology to the friend for ripping her item. That was 3 years ago. She has never been flippant with other people's things since then, and I am not worried that she will be arrested as a teen for vandalism.
Start parenting early. Be a parent always. Don't assume good kids belong to lucky parents - they usually belong to parents who took the time and the effort to parent them when it would have been easier to take the easy way out, because we knew you reap what you sew.
I have been ungrateful when I was younger about some of the gifts one of my grandparents got us meaning my sisters and I. The reason I was ungrateful was because she says she spends $100 on each of her grandkid's well I don't think this is true (this year I helped wrap and know she did not spend that much on the others but may have on us). I had asked for art supplies meaning a sketch pad some nice pens markers not from crayola and some good pencils meant for sketching. I was around 14 15 yrs old. She bought everything from the dollar store which included dollar store markers construction paper crayons from the dollar store scissors cheap glue. The reason I was ungrateful was because I knew what she had bought for my cousins who she has always treated differently and I think I got fed up with it. I told her thank you and acted like I loved it but was actually kinda hurt she spent about ten dollars on me and probably 200 on my cousins. And I am not the type of person that cares for material things usually when asked what do you want for Christmas I say nothing and I mean it.
Someone mentioned Toys for Tots. If you are a firm believer in that program, you owe it to yourself to witness those toys being distributed to the intended recipients - and THEIR reactions, too. Just do it. Its all I'm going to say here.
Do I spoil my kids? Well, spoil isn't whether I give them everything they want (that I can afford) it is whether or not they are grateful for it and thankful for what they receive. My son's greatest gift was his baby sister who became his baby (she was born a month after his 2nd birthday). Even while we were pregnant, if we told him he could pick something out to buy the store, he'd pick something for his baby sister. He is still like this to this day, although thinking about friends or family members far more than himself.
His sister did get spoiled... by him. When she was two and three she thought EVERYTHING belonged to her. Her brother only encouraged it as he'd giggle away when she acted like that (as it does start off as cute when they're less than a year old). She grew out of that, but I was still worried until one our family friends gave them both gifts (a couple days after Christmas last year when my kids were 4 and 6) that really no kid would be interested in (I don't remember what at the moment, but like a dollar store scarf, cheap snow globe, or tiny ceramic house). This friend, is an older friend who after being laid off is living off the savings that was supposed to be her eventual retirement, while she's looking for work (as her unemployment has ran out).
Well, I was so worried as they opened the presents that she was going to throw a fit that it wasn't something they liked. But rather, she made a big EXCITED deal as if it were the greatest gift in the world, because she knew just how much it meant to receive a gift from this friend in the first place (much like the drummer boy). That following month, they both, without any prompting from either parent or television show, teacher, etc; wanted to donate some of their used clothes and toys to people who didn't have any. ALL ON THEIR OWN THOUGHTFULNESS. We're on a fixed income after I too was laid off, and they're heartbroken everytime we can't helps others.
So, do I save up for the holidays and birthdays and "spoil them rotten?" You bet. Does it spoil them? No. Sometimes, it's not about the getting, if their more of a giving nature. And it's that giving nature of theirs, which has me wanting to give them everything. Because (using food as an example) why put non-parishables in the fridge if their not going to spoil in the cupboard. So, if my kids are unspoiled as it is, why not give them everything I can to encourage their giving spirit by my example?
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As for Mr. "timeouts have given us a society of spoiled brats," who commented earlier... My kids, essentially have never been spanked. They are "bad" at times, and are put in timeout. But as timeout is to be over we openly discuss (not being lectured) WHY they are in timeout and the behavior led to it, and the behavior ends. However, their "bad" behavior is actually good behavior when compared to the so-called "bad kids." You know, kids who throw fits and other things when they don't get their way. If all they were to do is to is get mad and say they'd rather have oranges in orange jello for desert instead of strawberries yogurt, then the "bad kids" wouldn't even get timeout. Mine do that, and the only way their timed out is for the mad behavior, as I encourage them to be honest and speak their minds, but to do it politely.
When they understand why and what the rules are and that everyone in the family must follow the same rules (for example no cursing, no violence, etc), children generally don't act out. Spanking should be reserved for the children who do act out no matter what, or in rare cases such as running into the street. When one spanks for everything, it doesn't help them learn their lesson or learn to respect you and you opinion, rather it teaches them to fear making you upset. Does this often help control a situation? Yes. Does it make a happy home? No. Because seriously, which would you rather have, a home where you child fears that they may get spanked if they do something wrong (even if the spankings are rare), or a house where everyone feels as if their equally and mutually respected by one another? My vote is for the latter.
i know for me growing up(even though i am only 16) i would get spanked or beaten for every little thing i did. when i was little i thought that it was something that would be done if a kid got in trouble so i didnt do anything except cry. then when i realized that none of my friends were being beaten then i knew i needed to fight back and stand my ground. it was an everyday thing and then i got sick 3 years ago and ive been through 50surgeries and have had 9picclines and a mediport. everyday i pray for everybody in the world but me. i would like to get better and have wanted to get better for the last 3 years. i think growing up the way i did and getting sick made me realize that i have a life...and i am thankful for it. i think everybody should be grateful for the life they are living. Be happy and smile and share love...you never know when your life will be changed forever but youll have the power to make it the best life. love you all! God Bless you all!! Merry Christmas!! :)
i blame this on progressive parenting.... if had tried any of this sh*t when i was a young boy my ass would have been flayed..... and i wouldve been thankfull for it :P
Wow wow wow ... I now feel MUCH BETTER about anything that my kids have ever done! My kids do get "spoiled" some years at Christmas, but not every year. Their level of "spoiled" depends on how our finances are doing each year. I will not break the bank or rack up credit card bills to provide them a Christmas. I think it is important for kids to learn early on about living within their means. No matter what, though, my kids are always grateful for whatever they get. Two years ago they each got ONE gift a piece and they were about the cheapest things we could find on Wal-Marts shelves three days before Christmas when my paycheck came in. Guess what, they were HAPPY to get the toys! And after, they HAPPILY went to their rooms and picked out a toy to give to a younger cousin or friend.
All I have to say since I don't have any kids right now and I'm also not married, but I do have a somewhat of spoiled brat moment. My niece who is one of my older sister's kid. She kind of is a sassy girl right now at the age of 5. I think she gets it from her dad because my sister never really was THAT bad from my memories.
Well earlier that year she made a big deal of those Pillow Pets that were popular last year and I think they still are now. But my mom bought her a dolphin before they started poping up in Wal-Marts, Walgreens, and every kind of shop imaginable. She still wanted a unicorn and a bumblebee. So her mom got her the Unicorn which she liked but I got her the bumblebee and when she got it she started playing a tune that she already got too many of them and she couldn't accept it. I was miffed because I thought it had to do with something my sister was teaching her over regular shopping trips. So this year if it happens again I am confronting my sister and my brother in law on it.
i am only 16 and i go to high school where other students and my friends are saying how they asked for flat screen tvs, iphones, laptops, ipads, cars... i think they are kind of crazy! my older sister(17) and my younger brother(13) both ask for a lot. for me, ever since i got sick 3 years ago i haven't asked for anything but to get better. this year i wanted my parents to take the money they would have spent on me and buy new game boards and video games and other toys for CHaD (Children's Hospital at Dartmouth) for all the kids that are there. I stay there a lot and i know it would mean a lot if we had new things there. people keep asking me what i want for Christmas and i tell them i already have what i need and i don't want anything but to get better and for all those kids at the hospital to be happy and loved. Merry Christmas to all!!! God Bless!! :) Smile!
We always had very generous celebrations and our kids got everything and then some yet they never acted badly and knew how to share. We decided to move to Mexico one year and our finances were not the same as before yet we lived well. While our kids went to private school, our neighbor's kids did not, they were at our house all the time and they were all lovely children (who are still friends with our kids, now grown) but my kids noticed that they were lucky to get ONE present let alone as many as they used to have, they never asked for anything from then on.... to this day, it changed Christmas forever. It was lovely.
My kids are now adults and my two youngest are in college. They are lovely people and wonderful children to us. Sure, they like "the finer things" but this year due to the economic situation of the country, our ages and inability to obtain employment for quite a while, our finances are limited and they have adjusted well. This year there will be no gifts, fancy food, clothes or anything else, we're grateful to be able to pay the rent and our bills, have food on the table and our savings went to being able to send our son back to school back East so he can continue his education (yes, we are drowning in student loan debt) but they deserve a future that only a good education can bring so we will make the sacrifice.
They continually think of how to help us, they work hard so that they will be able to get good jobs so they can support us, they think of others and this spurs them on to stay the course. We are very proud of them. Christmas to us is being together and sharing a lovely day as a family, not about material possessions or spending money. There are so many out there so much worse off then we are and we are grateful and feel lucky for being as rich as we are in what really matters. Ours is a united and loving family, and that is the greatest gift of all. Happy Holidays to All!
To all these people talking about "good vs bad" parenting, children are egocentric by nature until age 3 or 4 when their "world" starts expanding, and yes, things come out of their mouths uncensured. That's just them, developmentally. While thus far I've been lucky with my 3 yo, at least in regard to gifts--her favorite part is still opening them and she'd probably like an empty box all wrapped pretty as anything else--I'm not sure the day will come when she blasts someone for a gift she didn't want, she's generally speaking a very kind child, though she does have her moments. When and if it happens, I will most definately sit her down and talk to her about it, but to the woman who seemed to think that poor behavior comes from "not teaching..." i say baloney. I'm a pretty old fashioned, strict, by the book mom and my daughter is still egocentric because THAT'S a 3 yo; now if she does that when she's 13, that's another story!
I just want to add that I notice this behavior a lot more in kids who are allowed to watch a bunch of TV. We all get really inundated with ads around Christmas time, even on the radio. My kid watches no commercial TV at home and only gets to watch it about once a month at his Gramma's house. I notice that his expectations and Santa list grows HUGE after watching a few cartoons at her place before the holidays. It's actually quite a sad thing to see how easily marketing can influence them. Sure, he sees stuff his cousins have/want and sure he has buddies who get scads of Christmas stuff, but he really only gets overly expectant after watching TV. I wonder if some of these kids get the idea of "perfect" Christmas from the tube, rather than just being "brats".
My parents say I was never too bad as a child. My little brother on the other hand was (and still sometimes is) a major brat. One day he wanted a pack of pokemon cards from the store. My parents took him home and he actually called the cops on my mother for not buying the cards for him. Though he wasn't very old at the time, since I don't even remember it.
I want to thank the few parents on here who admit it was their own damn fault their child was a brat...Now if only the rest of the idiot parents would get it through their stupid thick skulls. I work in retail, I watch as your brats pitch a fit, and all I can think is...you obviously were too young to have kids, I don't care if your 23 or 50...if you can't handle your kid. You weren't ready for them.
P.s. Why don't nowadays parents do it old school? Grab your kid by the ear and drag them out of the store, when they have a tantrum leave them there and say, "okay then I'm leaving bye!" (don't actually leave...just say it) after a few minutes they'll come out scared you left them. Our parents were all old school growing up, and my mother had no problem teaching me a lesson, and I learned, I was grateful, still am and I sure as hell am gonna be just as tough on my own kids. Because seriously if my kids even thought about saying any of those things from the above stories, they wouldn't have a mouth to talk with, and their ass would be sore from a whoppin'..not to mention all the toys would go bye bye in a heartbeat. Thats what gift receipt is for. ;]
We parents don't do "old school" now because if we did we would have the cops and Children's Services at our door and be facing criminal child abuse charges and our kids would be in foster homes. Thats why.
You don't have to do anything to attract Child Protective Services to be "old school" and raise your children well, for heaven's sake.
One of my five year old granddaughters this year asked me (we had an early Christmas because they are going out of town to her other grandma's house), "Is there anything else to open, Grandma?" several times, and I just said no, we'd opened it all.
My other little five year old granddaughter said, "Thank you, Grandma!" and didn't ask if there was anything else.
I know five is very young, but I know which little girl was coached by her parents for good manners.
The mother (daughter-in-law) of the little girl who isn't coached with much of anything told me they already had the gift I bought for my one year old grandson. I was a bit put off by that, but I don't really know whether that was actually wrong or not. We always told our kids (now the parents) that if they received something they didn't want or didn't like or already had to smile and say thank you with a big smile. I told them we'd work out something later, that maybe I could take the gift back on the quiet and get them something else.
Now I'm stuck with a gift I can't return and wonder if I'm supposed to go buy something else. (I can't return the gift because my husband bought it and got a huge rebate on it if he sent in the receipt. It is a quality name brand $25 wood toy.)
I wonder what other people think.
When I was younger I was always grateful for presents ( I know for a fact because I have the Christmases on video). When i was a young teen I would politely ask for gift receipts in advance, and my family respected the fact that it was a waste of their money to get me something I wouldn't use. Now I tend to ask for money if anything to put towards things I might need that aren't around Christmas time. I still almost feel bad when I receive a present because that person spent time and usually money to get it for me. The worst is when you didn't get them anything in return. If I have kids someday I hope I can instill values in them that my mom instilled in me. She always says she'd rather buy me things when I need them instead of impulse buying random "toys" for Christmas.
The best child rearing advice I ever received was, "Don't start any habits that you don't intend on repeating for the next eighteen years."
No candy bars in the store/ice cream in the restaurant, small gifts only as rewards for exceedingly good behavior the first time, and having "bathroom talks" when your child misbehaves in public...that's how I was raised, and I am much more excited about the gifts I give than the ones I receive.
I worked as a waitress for three years in college. Even then, as a clueless college student, I recognized that when a table told me to give their screaming five year old ice cream instead of dinner "because she won't stop until she gets it", this was very bad parenting!
There comes a time when it isn't advantageous for your child "to have more than you did." I was raised with everything I needed and a lot of what I wanted. My daughter doesn't need anything more than what I had... but financially I have the means to do it so its something I struggle with as a parent. Having a spoiled child is not the child's fault... its the parents problem. Give your child everything and he will end up with nothing.
My niece is spoiled. She throws tantrums in front of her mom to get what she wants. I have already established my expectations with my niece, so whenever I babysit or take her to the store, she doesn't ask for anything and she doesn't throw tantrums. I tried teaching this to my sister-in-law but she and I have different views on parenting. We have agreed to disagree. Her life would be a lot easier if she set those boundaries with her daughter.
Kudos to those parents who are consistent and who do not have the desire to be their kids' best friend. The parent/friend attitude might make life easy now, but it will make life a lot harder later.