As if the social drama of teen girls -- queen bees, text-bullies, Facebook foibles -- isn’t enough to cause serious premature mama-hair grayness, there’s also the aesthetic “milestones” to contend with.

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When do you let them wear makeup?

When should girls be allowed to shave their legs? When can they wear makeup? When can they wax their eyebrows or -- yikes! -- their bikini line?

A recent survey of more than 750 parents of tweens and teens by TODAY and Parenting magazine found some interesting results on various “When is it OK to let your child ...” questions.

Most respondents agreed on matters of shaving and makeup. Seventy-one percent of parents surveyed said age 12 was an appropriate age for girls to start shaving their legs, while 27 percent said age 10 and only 2 percent said age 8.

On wearing makeup: 63 percent said age 14 is OK, while 33 percent said age 12 and 4 percent said age 10.

Respondents were way more divided on topics like ear piercing and eyebrow waxing or tweezing. While 31 percent said age 10 is appropriate for ear piercing, 35 percent said it’s OK to pierce ears at birth. (No surprise, since babies-with-earrings is an age-old debate that often splits along cultural lines.)

Related from Parenting magazine: 11 big-kid milestones

And while 32 percent said it was OK for 16-year-olds to wax or tweeze, 30 percent said age 14 and 19 percent said age 12.

Having recently survived an experience that involved my 11-year-old daughter, some unwanted facial hair and a first visit to Lucy, my trusted waxer (when you are Indian-American, your waxer is on speed-dial), I believe that defining rules for these milestones is incredibly personal.  After all, how can someone who doesn’t have hair issues judge when it’s an appropriate time to remove it?

Mothers and daughters may assume the battle stance over everything from mascara to miniskirts, but, ultimately, the only way to figure out what’s best for parent and child is to talk things out.

And, girls, don’t think we moms won’t use our own childhood deprivations as a rationale for rules: “I couldn’t get my ears pierced until I was 12, so neither can you.”

What are your rules on aesthetic milestones for your daughters? 

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