• Transitioning schedules for back-to-school

    By Mir Kamin for BlogHer.com

    For some families, back-to-school may not represent all that big of a schedule change -- maybe your work schedule and/or Junior's camp schedule mimic what the school year brings, or maybe as a homeschooling family you set your own hours -- but for lots of families, back-to-school means it's time to panic over scheduling. Every year I try to plan out a smooth transition, and every year I find myself wishing I'd done it a little differently. Now that back-to-school is here, I'm thinking about the various ways we've tackled this yearly challenge (and sometimes gotten back into the groove in spite of ourselves).

    When my kids were little, schedule was king. They did better with consistency and plenty of sleep, and I never saw much of a reason to let them stay up late even though maybe they didn't have to get up as early as they would during the school year. But as my kids have gotten older, they 1) require less sleep, 2) have things they'd like to stay up for and 3) can enjoy a "summer schedule" without flipping out or melting down. Over the years I've loosened up over the summer, and this summer -- for the first time -- I occasionally found myself telling my daughter "Go to bed!" and when the inevitable "But why?" would come back, the answer would be, "Because we're about to go to bed! It's late!"

    (In case you're wondering what keeps them up so late: This summer they were allowed to read as long as they wanted to at night. Those late nights were almost all spent reading. We are raising nerds, and I'm okay with that.)

    Anyway, for my kids, transitioning back to a school schedule meant they needed to get back to reasonable bedtimes, and back to getting up to the alarm clock rather than rolling out of bed whenever. For me, I needed to get back to the alarm clock as well, but as someone whose commute involves walking down the hallway to my computer, I also needed to bid my slow, quiet mornings adieu. Over the summer I'd been able to get up around seven and work for a couple of hours before either of my kids would appear. With school in session, I need to get up a full two hours earlier to get just half that uninterrupted time before I need to wrangle breakfasts and lunch bags and bathroom squabbles. (Of course, on the up side, once the morning is navigated, I have nearly an entire day to work distraction-free.)

    As a family, it means getting back to putting things on the calendar. Coordinating carpools. Slotting chores on specific days rather than letting everything go and then catching up all at once. Doing rigorous meal-planning rather than occasional meal-planning. It's just a completely different way of life than the lazy days of summer, that's for sure.

    Two weeks before school started, lights out was enforced each night at about 45 minutes later than the usual school bedtime, though I still let the kids sleep as late as they wanted in the morning. One week before school started, we went to school-night bedtime, and I made the kids be up and ready (showered/dressed/fed) by an hour later than they'd have to do it for school. Those two week-long adjustments made the start of school and the very early mornings slightly less of a shock to all of our systems, but it was still a very long first week. That first weekend I made sure we had no commitments so that everyone could sleep in and lay around. Everyone was tired and cranky, but we survived. I think.

    Related Links on BlogHer:

    BlogHer Contributing Editor Mir drinks a lot of coffee during the week, and sleeps in on Saturdays. She blogs near-daily about issues parental and otherwise at Woulda Coulda Shoulda, and posts all day long about the joys of mindful retail therapy at Want Not.

    Reaching more than 20 million women each month, BlogHer is the leading participatory news, entertainment and information network for women online with a publishing network of more than 2,500 blogs. BlogHer adds unique voices of women bloggers to the TODAY community. Read more at www.blogher.com -- and sign up for our newsletters to get the best of BlogHer in your inbox.

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  • Michelle Obama is right: Take kids on individual vacations

    Courtesy of BlogHer

    Me, right, with my very happy daughter at Disney World.

    By TW for BlogHer.com

    Michelle Obama added a "Mommy and me" trip to her summer vacation schedule: Sasha, 9, and her mother will travel to Spain. Vacations with the whole family have a place, but in my experience the trips a child makes alone with a parent really mean the world.

    As I write this, my son is enjoying one-on-one time with his father -- in Japan. Every picture of him on Facebook shows a beaming 16-year-old -- which might surprise anyone with a 16-year-old son. I know it would surprise anyone who has been tortured with endless pictures of my children on vacation: in any one photo, one kid will smile, while one looks away and one looks bored. My son is having a blast without his younger sisters complaining about this destination or that restaurant. Those pictures show exactly why leaving the siblings at home makes for a special parent-child vacation.

    My children have traveled quite a bit with their father -- all over the world, in fact. Their itineraries make even well-traveled adults sigh with envy. But if you ask my daughter about her favorite trip ever, she rambles about her special "mommy and me" birthday trip two hours from our home, to Disney World.

    My daughter's birthday came at about the same time she became fixated with the Pirates of the Caribbean. She didn't remember the ride at all from a couple of years earlier, when we had season passes to Disney World. So I planned a one-night, two-day trip. She loved every minute of it, from the drizzling rain to the pit stop for doughnuts at the toll road oasis to the magic of Disney.

    What she talks about, though, and what we both remember well about this trip: She had the undivided attention of her mother. Our days were directed by her whims, not her siblings' likes and dislikes. We wandered leisurely and lingered in the photo booth. We didn't talk about anything earthshaking. Instead, we focused on the fun. I reflect back on that trip and realize the thing that made it special truly was having alone time with someone you love. Those connections nurtured and special memories made with "just mom" last.

    For my 20-year-old child's 16th birthday, we took her to the closest Ikea, 5 hours away. We left the other children behind and spent the night in a hotel. We ordered room service, and came home with the new bedroom furniture she had needed for some time. These trips nurture what can be lost in the hustle and bustle of our lives and trying to juggle the needs of all of the children.

    Michelle Obama chose wisely when she decided to take Sasha on a "mommy and me" trip. Among the unforgettable experiences Sasha will have as a child, this one will no doubt rank very high on the list.

    What do you think: Is it a good idea to take kids on solo vacations? Would you do it?

    More Bloggers on Family Travel

    Reaching more than 20 million women each month, BlogHer is the leading participatory news, entertainment and information network for women online with a publishing network of more than 2,500 blogs. BlogHer adds the voices of women bloggers to the TODAY Moms discussion. Read more at www.blogher.com -- and sign up for our newsletters to get the best of BlogHer in your inbox.

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