• MSN
  • Hotmail
  • More
    • Autos
    • My MSN
    • Video
    • Careers & Jobs
    • Personals
    • Weather
    • Delish
    • Quotes
    • White Pages
    • Games
    • Real Estate
    • Wonderwall
    • Horoscopes
    • Shopping
    • Yellow Pages
    • Local Edition
    • Traffic
    • Feedback
    • Maps & Directions
    • Travel
    • Full MSN Index
  • Bing
  • msnbc.com sites & shows:
  • TODAY
  • Rock Center
  • Nightly News
  • Meet the Press
  • Dateline
  • Morning Joe
  • Hardball
  • Ed
  • Maddow
  • The Last Word
  • msnbc tv
  • People
  • Entertainment
  • Food
  • Health
  • Money
  • Travel
  • Books
  • Pets
  • Parenting
  • Style
  • KLG & Hoda
  • Blogs
    • allDAY
    • Animal Tracks
    • Bites
    • The Clicker
    • Digital Life
    • Hip2Save
    • Kathie Lee & Hoda
    • Life Inc.
    • The Look
    • Scoop
    • TODAY Entertainment
    • TODAY Health
    • TODAY Moms
    • TODAY Travel
  • More
    • Comics & Games
    • Concert Series
    • Good News!
    • Horoscope
    • Lotto
    • News
    • Photo Features
    • Relationships
    • The Royals
    • Tech
    • TODAY at 60
    • Weather
    • Weddings
  • Recommended: Help Natalie Morales with her boys' bedtime routines!
  • Recommended: My little Linus: In defense of security blankets
  • Recommended: Parent confession: Many skip booster seats for carpoolers
  • Recommended: Homeless dad's message of hope: 'Never give up'
Learn, share and discuss at TODAY Moms: parenting news and views from TODAY, top headlines and you. We're all in this together, so join the conversation.
  • ↓ About this blog
  • ↓ Archives
    • Icons Email E-mail updates
      You are subscribed.
      change this
      ()
      Loading Saving...
    • Icons Twitter Follow on Twitter
    • Icons Feed Subscribe to RSS
  • advertisement
    26
    Jan
    2012
    8:46am, EST

    7 tricks to help stressed moms chill out

    By Dr. Michele Borba

    Stressed? You're not alone. Apparently 70 percent of U.S. moms say mothering is “incredibly stressful.” And 96 percent also feel that we are far more stressed than our own mothers were.

    So what’s triggering Mommy Angst, circa 2012? (How much time do you have?) It's everything from financial insecurities, a more intensive parenting style and  higher expectations for our kids’ success to a lack of support, time famine, relationship demands, and concern that the world is more perilous for kid raising.

    But more significant than the cause is the way unchecked stress can hurt our health and our family’s well-being. Chronically stressed moms  tend to be more insensitive to kids. Studies also show that a parent’s ability to manage stress is a strong predictor of the quality of her relationship with her children and how happy her children are.

    Quick mom stress tests
    How do you know if your stress is harming your kids? Here are two quick tests to find out. (Be honest!)

    The home climate test: Is your home a place where you and your kids can de-stress? Are there laughs and time to enjoy each other’s company in a relaxed mode?

    Live Poll

    How stressed are you?

    View Results
    • 174451
      Pretty mellow: I roll with the punches.
      5%
    • 174452
      Medium-stressed: I have my freak-out moments sometimes.
      72%
    • 174453
      OMG SO STRESSED I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN TAKING TIME TO VOTE IN THIS POLL!
      23%

    VoteTotal Votes: 443

    The mother memory test: If you asked your kids to describe you, would they say you are usually calm, take time to listen and are enjoyable to be around? Or running around, tense and stressed out?

    If your home climate is on-edge and your kids would describe you as usually “tense, wiped-out and irritable,” it’s time to get your stress in check.  Here are seven mom de-stressors you can do right now. Find just one strategy that fits your needs.

    The best news is that you can try these tricks with your kids, which means everyone benefits by learning to manage stress. 

    1. Learn your stress signs
    Learning to identify how you react to stress will help you curb your overload mode. Common stress signs include: Rising blood pressure or spiked heart rate (which can make you feel a little dizzy). Speaking louder or yelling. Irritability, more impatient or experiencing lapses in judgment. Imagine how those behaviors affect your kids! Tune in to your body until you identify your warning signs.

    2. Take a break
    You may not be able to avoid all the stress, but you can get away for just a few minutes to feel less overwhelmed. Giving yourself permission to take a brief “stress break” is often enough to decompress or just give a new perspective. This can include:

    Taking a Mommy time out: Put up a "do not disturb" sign on your bedroom door. Listen to relaxing music or plant a picture in your mind of a soothing place. Take five minutes to decompress.

    Give permission to “take ten”: Let everyone in your family know it’s OK to walk away until they can get back in control. Some families create a family signal such as using an umpire “Time Out” hand gesture that means that the person needs to decompress.

    3. Create solutions for your “hot” times
    Stress mounts for moms at predictable times, such as in the morning when everyone is dashing to get out the door or at that dinner time witching hour. Identify when you are most  irritable, and find a simple way to curb the friction during that “hot” time. For instance: If mornings are stressful because your kid can’t decide (or find) what to wear: lay clothes out the night before. If your car pool is frantic because you can’t find your keys, make an extra set.

    4. Learn deep breathing or meditation
    Deep abdominal breathing, meditation, and prayer are proven to help moderate stress and help the body relax. Best yet, you can also teach the tension-relieving strategies to your kids! How to start:

    Use slow, deep breaths. Inhale slowly to a count of five, pause for two counts, and then slowly breathe out the same way, again counting to five. Repeating the sequence creates maximum relaxation. (Using bubble blowers or pinwheels helps younger kids learn to take slow deep breaths to blow “meanies” away.)

    Try elevator breathing. Close your eyes, slowly breathe out three times, then imagine you’re in an elevator on the top of a very tall building. Press the button for the first floor and watch the buttons for each level slowly light up as the elevator goes down. As the elevator descends, your stress fades away.

    5. Exercise together
    The research is growing that exercise keeps stress at bay whether it’s walking, bike riding, swimming, playing basketball or something else. The trick is finding the type you enjoy. Best yet, find a strategy to do with your kids so everyone benefits.

    Just walk: Walk alone, with your kids or find one other mom to join for a short walk each day.

    Ride off the tension: There is nothing like riding bikes with your kids.

    Dance stress away: A ten-minute spontaneous dance session with your kids is a great tension reliever whether the music is a nursery rhyme or Coldplay.

    6. Take time to laugh
    The American Psychological Association reports that stressed people often hold a lot of stress in their faces. Laughs, smiles and giggles can help relieve some of that tension. So when is the last time you belted out a good, long belly laugh with your kids? Find ways to bring a little more fun into your life to curb stress and create fun family memories.

    Be spontaneous: Celebrate the dog’s birthday by baking him a cake. Eat dinner in reverse. Tape a dollar bill to the garbage can (and don't say anything about it) to see who will take out the trash. Just have fun!

    7. Find a support group
    The truth is we devote so much time to our families, we forget to take time for our social needs, whether it's our significant other or our girlfriends. Relationships help reduce our stress and restore balance.

    Find a Mommy coach: Don’t stress alone about your kids. Share your concerns with another mom and vow you’ll be one another's cheerleader. Talking about your stress with someone who cares can reduce anxieties. Or join a social network with a mom chat room. (Ed.'s note: And don't forget about the TODAY Moms Facebook page!) 

    Schedule date nights: The date doesn’t have to cost anything -- a walk, going to the park, watching a rented movie, or sitting in the car in your driveway with wine and cheese. It’s just time alone with your significant other.

    There’s a reason flight attendants remind us to put on our oxygen masks first, then on the kids. We can’t take care of our families unless we take time for ourselves, and Moms are notorious at putting ourselves on the backburner. Take time for yourself. Make sure to check your stress. After all, a happy, less-stressed mom makes happier, less-stressed kids. Always has. Always will.

    What are your secrets for de-stressing?

    Dr. Michele Borba is a TODAY contributor and author of "The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries." Follow her on twitter @micheleborba.

    "Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms

    3 comments, including:

    Great tips! What I find destressing is making my hobby that brings in a little extra spending cash.

    Show more
    Explore related topics: stress, solutions, mom
  • 7
    Jul
    2011
    10:16am, EDT

    Stay-at-home and work-outside-the-home moms unite: We all feel overwhelmed

    By Julie Weingarden Dubin

    For those who’ve ever looked at a seemingly together mom and wondered how she does it, it’s simple — she doesn’t take a break.

    You think she has it better, or easier than you, but really, despite living different lives, stay-at-home moms and moms who work outside the home are pretty much in sync when it comes to their complaints about stress and co-parenting habits, according to a recent survey of 1,200 mothers by TheBump.com and Forbes Woman.

    Live Poll

    Moms, do you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities?

    View Results
    • 153099
      Yes, all the time, and I rarely or never get a break.
      52%
    • 153100
      Sometimes, but I do take time for myself to recharge.
      41%
    • 153101
      No, I've got this parenthood thing pretty well handled.
      7%

    VoteTotal Votes: 1748

    Whether the day involves negotiating with a temperamental toddler or a condescending co-worker, working and stay-at-home moms agree — they barely get a breather.

    From rushing to the train, slammed by deadlines to racing through the house, slathered in spit-up, moms can’t check out at 5 p.m. Stay-at-home and work-outside-the-home moms alike are still on the clock when hubby removes his tie and drops his briefcase at the door. According to the survey, 92% of working moms and 89% of stay-at-home moms feel overwhelmed by work, home and parenting duties. A full 84% of stay-at-home moms don’t get a break when their partner returns from work, and 50% say they never get a break from parenting. (But 96% say their partner manages to snag time-outs.)

    Both groups (70% of working moms and 68% of stay-at-home moms) feel resentment due to the unbalanced responsibilities and a third of all moms say they feel their partner could step it up on the domestic front.

    What to do?

    Achieving perfect balance juggling it all isn’t likely. But a girl can try.

    Related on TODAY Moms: Read Tina Fey's tips for finding that elusive 'me time.'

    Talk to your partner about your need for a rest and then start scheduling breaks. Book that mani/pedi and go for that girls’ night you’ve been pushing off. Let your honey tuck the kids in bed. It’s also important to tell other women about what you’re going through.

    Just because you can do it all, doesn’t mean you should.

    OK, so we’re overwhelmed — how do we stop feeling resentful and actually get some help? Share your thoughts in the comments, below: How are you going to make time for Mom breaks?

    Julie Weingarden Dubin is a Michigan-based freelance journalist and author with three rocking kids, a loving husband and a trashed minivan. She covers health, psychology, parenting, relationships and pop culture. 

    "Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms

    Leave your comment

    Show more
    Explore related topics: stress, showfront, sahm, wohm
  • 28
    Dec
    2009
    11:11am, EST

    Are you relieved that the holidays are almost over?

    Congrats! You've made it through most of the holidays - only New Year's left to go. Now that the flurry of family, gifts and food is over, are you feeling a little empty or mostly relieved?

    Results with 4 short comments
    Total of 244 votes - click on the "Display Comments" bar below to sort comments

    75.8%
    Yes. Looking forward to getting some time back.
    185 votes
    19.7%
    No! I'll miss the festive atmosphere.
    48 votes
    4.5%
    I'm not sure yet.
    11 votes
    Display Comments:
    No! I'll miss the festive atmosphere.

    I am still working on Christmas ... running a little late this year

      #1
       - kim carney
       - 11:24 am EST on Mon Dec 28, 2009
      Yes. Looking forward to getting some time back.

      There is way too much to do so much that I feel like I miss the spirit. Not complaining, I could be all alone and not wanted. I'm blessed!

        #2
         - Victoria Yvette
         - 1:25 pm EST on Mon Dec 28, 2009
        Yes. Looking forward to getting some time back.

        Yes I am and looking forward to moving on in 2010!

          #3
           - Debster-1532143
           - 3:06 pm EST on Mon Dec 28, 2009
          No! I'll miss the festive atmosphere.

          I love the holidays so much

            #4
             - AlaniumJzone
             - 9:52 am EST on Wed Dec 30, 2009

            "Like" TODAY Moms on Facebook, and follow us @TodayMoms

            2 comments, including:

            It's been a long season and i'm so looking forward to Moving ON in my life in 2010!

            Show more
            Explore related topics: holiday, stress, showfront

          Browse

          • showfront,
          • featured,
          • crib-notes,
          • parenting,
          • notes,
          • crib,
          • health,
          • cribnotes,
          • kids,
          • halloween,
          • holidays,
          • moms,
          • education,
          • teens,
          • pregnancy,
          • children,
          • toys,
          • entertainment,
          • breast-feeding,
          • mom,
          • babies,
          • facebook,
          • secrets,
          • school,
          • natalie-morales,
          • bullying,
          • discipline,
          • working-moms,
          • motherhood,
          • sex,
          • nutrition,
          • dads,
          • celebrity,
          • technology,
          • holiday,
          • baby
          Also

          Top TODAY.com headlines

          3155,10
          advertisement

          Archives

          • 2012
            • February (17)
            • January (65)
          • 2011
            • December (61)
            • November (75)
            • October (83)
            • September (81)
            • August (81)
            • July (79)
            • June (91)
            • May (90)
            • April (83)
            • March (94)
            • February (63)
            • January (84)
          • 2010
            • December (67)
            • November (102)
            • October (126)
            • September (113)
            • August (117)
            • July (43)
            • June (42)
            • May (60)
            • April (58)
            • March (59)
            • February (63)
            • January (67)
          • 2009
            • December (82)
            • November (87)
            • October (81)
            • September (5)
            • June (1)
            • May (1)

          Recent Posts

          • What to do when your 5-year-old announces he's in love (1)
          • Crib notes: Keeping up with the Duggars, with baby #19
          • Even David Beckham embarrasses his kids
          • Valentine's survey: What, and who, we want to do this V-Day (19)
          • Crib notes: Nursing moms to Facebook: Suck it (or, watch our babies suckle it)
          • Mom blogger Susan Niebur loses battle with cancer (2)
          • The French are better parents? Excusez-moi? (222)
          • Crib notes: I don't want to marry you, I just want to co-parent with you (1)

          Other blogs

          • allDAY
          • Animal Tracks
          • Bites
          • The Clicker
          • Digital Life
          • Hip2Save
          • Life Inc.
          • The Look
          • Scoop
          • TODAY Moms

          More on TODAY.com

          3155,8
          © 2012 msnbc.com
          • msnbc.com
          • About us
          • Contact
          • Help
          • Site map
          • Careers
          • Terms & Conditions
          • MSN Privacy
          • Legal
          • Advertise